Argueing

[LoveGems]

Sorry if this is a repeated topic, I have read a couple like this but they don't seem to have many helpful answers.

Ok, so me and my boyfriend have been together for 14months now, and this past month we have been argueing quite often. They aren't major arguements, they are over silly little things, and after a kiss and a cuddle they work out fine and are forgotten about. We think its because of the amount of stress we are going through at the moment, he is just starting University, and i'm going through quite bad health problems at the moment.

We live together, so we are always ending up taking out our stresses on eachother.

I was wondering if anyone can give any adivice on whether theres much we can do to stop the argueing. If anyone else has ever had the argueing problem, how did you resolve it?
Any advice welcome, thanks in advance

[Brandye]

Each of you learn to determine whether you are responding to internal pressure you are personally feeling or something the other has actually done or said. If it is your baggage, do not ping on the partner; if it is something coming from the other, ask for a change in statement or behaviour. No need to argue. Accumulation of the inevitable hurts in these minor arguments, can really add up over time.

[LoveGems]

It really is just the stress around us that makes us snap at eachother. He doesn't mind me taking it out on him (as long as its not too much) and I don't mind doing the same for him, otherwise we would both have a lot of pent up stuff inside us, but we just want an idea of how we can both maybe 'chillax' around eachother a bit more, even with the added stress.

[dancingdoc2]

I just finished replying to another thread about this.

Need relationship advice

[SensualPlayland]

My wife and I have done this since as long as we've been together (7 yrs/5 married). While it sounds like one another are okay with it being "taken out on them", it doesn't always work out that way.

Over time the problems will get bigger and the stress will get worse. I'm learning that it is how YOU deal with the stress that makes the difference in your relationship. Why should we snap at eachother because work is a pain in the ass, the kids are acting up, or somebody hasn't put their shoes away? We are working on communicating and working through each issue TOGETHER. Work as a team or everything will fail.

My last piece of advice is that you never know what you have until it is gone. We all assume that the other will come right home after work or school...but how would you feel if they didn't? Who would you yell at then? Or would you not want to yell at all and would you feel empty inside?

[sera300]

Well put & so true...