Insecurities in sex - Need some advice

[tomcat]

I don't know for sure how to start this. I come in here to ask sex questions, or to release to people who seem to understand my insercurities in my sex with hubby. I'm here again to do that. He has been added new responsibilties at work, he already has high blood pressure, he has a very pretty young widow in his department, that yes I'm jealous of. I don't think he has been unfaithful, but when he speaks of her he does seem to light up. When I want to just snuggle he immediltly thinks that means doing something. My question is how do I keep him interested in me, needless to say when he drinks he is afraid he won't be able to perform, so then that causes problems.
Gee, listen to this I'm not making any sense, I try to be supportive,
thanks so much from the bottom of my heart for being here for me.
tomcat.

[sera300]

SO you are jealous of the female co-worker. Let it go; you are his wife. Your jealousy will not prevent any interactions; rather you might drive him away. Wasted energy.

Snuggling? Tell him you need more affection and be happy he wants to have sex w/you.

You missed me with your point of ETOH consumption. If you want a glass of wine share one.

[Brandye]

You need someone to talk to. Counselor, minister, girlfriend.

A little alcohol will be good for his blood pressure; it also is a sexual depressant. More than a little alcohol is bad for his blood pressure and will render his penis non-functional. If alcohol is the issue, he needs to deal with that. If the jealousy is the issue, you need to deal with that.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Jealousy is for losers. Are you a loser? Then stop it and stop it now., You're not a child - do not act like one.

Begin snuggling on the sofa, in the kitchen, when walking and so on; just little things like taking his arm and standing close to him. Try the eye kiss and the finger caress. Small things that show your interest in him in a mild way.

LAUGH more. Nothing so eases the tension as laughter. Do something CUTE for a change! Not something sexy but something adorable. Think "a little kitten playing with a ball of wool adorable". That kind of thing.

Turn on the music and dance in the kitchen while making dinner if all else fails!

ENJOY YOUR LIFE!!!

[machine_rat]

What is it about this widow that causes him to light up? Does he simply not have many friends that he's close with and she is just someone who gets along with him nicely? How different would the stories sound to you if you knew that they were instead told by a guy?

Relax, try not to be too concerned that he is trying to offer the widow 'his deepest consolences'.

[redgold18]

You just answered your own question. You said that when you snuggle up, he thinks you're starting something and he's interested. Bingo - it's obvious he still wants to have sex with you.
I do this for my hubby, and he loves it. Not very original, but if you don't do it a lot it'll make for a nice surprise and melt away stress for him.
Dress up in a cute naughty outfit, or just be naked. Light candles, turn on some soft'n' sexy music, and have body lotion or massage oils on hand. Wait for him to get home from work and find you in the bedroom. Ask him to get naked, and then proceed to massage for however long. Basically, just get him away from the stressed environment at work and get him all relaxed and remind him he is safe with you. It's very possible he's worried about his ability to "perform" with the added stressors....make him forget all that.