10-11-2007, 10:41 AM
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sexual confidence
I've been married for 13 years and am pregnant with 5th child. I found out that my husband has been checking out porn lately and can't help but feel I can't compete with those skinny porn stars. Our sex life is great, 4-5x a week, and I really enjoy all sorts of porn myself. Any advice on how to not feel like he's comparing my body with theirs?
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10-11-2007, 11:14 AM
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I guess you would have to ask yourself why you enjoy porn. Could he not enjoy it for the same reason. In a past relationship my gf always said, if you look at that stuff it's the same as saying I'm not good enough. If I look at that stuff now in my current relationship, it's because I'm bored. Am I not still attracted to my gf. Of course I am. If you are having it 4-5 times a week, I'm guessing he's loving it.
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10-11-2007, 02:33 PM
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Let your insecurities go...so what, he checks out porn? They are pictures.
__________________
Our backgrounds & circumstances may influence who we are but we are responsible for who we become. 
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10-11-2007, 03:16 PM
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Well firstly, you say you like it too, so whats the problem...its like saying my husband likes eating mcdonalds....i do too but how do i not make it feel like he doesnt like my cooking. ..
Dont worry about it...I mean if anything think of it this way...you know your man can put out...I mean sex 4 to 5 times a week, and he still has the craving for more...Those times you want more, you know you can...Only worry if it starts affecting your sex life. You drop to 1-2 times a week or less, he doesnt really do as well as usual, (looks bored or makes it seem like a chore) then you need to deal with it.
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10-11-2007, 10:41 PM
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> Any advice on how to not feel like he's comparing my body with theirs?
So, he makes comparisons. The result is that you are making love 4-5 times a week with four children. It sounds like you you get a lot of answers each week!
__________________
Life without dancing? I don't think so...... The feet may learn the steps; yet only the spirit can dance! Dancing is the fastest way to get a girl alone and into your arms in public. The Tango smolders and burns. It ignites the heart, the soul, and yes, the libido. Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to Dance in the Rain! Dance as if nobody is watching.
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10-11-2007, 11:32 PM
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When you see a nice car drive by, does that make you hate the car that you own?
__________________
It's business as usual in the apocalypse, and business is good.
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10-12-2007, 06:55 AM
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thanks for the uplifting advice
I really needed to hear all this. I always beat myself up for feeling hurt because I know it's insane. Now what I really need to do is not feel hurt to start off with. I've been reading a lot here and am learning a lot about how important it is to exude confidence, so I'm working on that. I've started writing him some really filthy notes and leaving them for him to find. He's really getting into it. If things keep "up" like the last two days, we'll be going at it 6-7 days a week! And I've always dreamed of being a writer. Maybe my first book will be porn
How would I ever explain that to my kids? Well, thanks everyone.
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