no loving here

[Bored2d]

My boyfriend and i have been dating for two years and living together for one. Before we moved in together our sex life was fantastic, about 3-4 times a week. And after we moved in, we had sex about 2-3 times a week since i was going to school 5-7 days a week and he was working long hours. but ever since i've graduated college our sex life have gone down to once a week to once ever two weeks.

this has been going on for the past 4 months, and he claims that he is not in the mood and is tiered from work. but the thing is that he now has less hours and alot less work. He also has the weekends off and all he want to do is play his damn video games instead of going out and doing things like going out for walks/hicking.

It feels like the spark is dimming and i feel like i'm the only one who is trying to put any effort into this relationship. i love him so much but i dont want to feel as though i'm forcing him to have sex or hang out with me. i just dont know what to da any more.

[machine_rat]

Complacancy has a habit of doing that. It sounds like he has grown accustomed to you always being there (that is, taken for granted). I'm guilty of doing it too, having reached a point in the relationship where I felt I didn't have to continually strive to impress the girl.

I'm not saying that this is the right solution for your situation, but the thing that helped to rekindle the spark was a flame of another sort. It was once it was made clear to me that I was in serious jeopardy of actually losing my girlfriend that a flame was lit under my butt.

[sera300]

I have said people are on "best behavior" for the first year, in the second year the true person shows up [generally by the end of it] perhaps this is what you are seeing? Talk to him; serious communication is needed & if not improvement find a new place to reside & see where you get with him! A man who does not like sex???? Ughhhhh....imagine another few years, then add 10+ to it! You will be climbing the walls.

[Bored2d]

thank you all for your comments. i'm going to talk to him tonight.

[EvilEvilKitten]

www.wickedwomangroup.us

Either he 'steps up or he 'steps off'.

[bruins76]

Most relationships aren't in a honey moon stage constantly, like Sera said, being on their best behavior the first year or a little bit more. I am sure you have changed in your BF's eyes as well on some level.

Being sexual is a big thing, but are you looking for quantity or quality? When you do have sex is it really good or just "so, so"? If the quality & quantity is bad, then yes you have an issue & it needs to be discussed, communication is big right now. If your quality is great but quantity isn't, you need to decide what is important.

Some people need sex from their partner to feel validated, to know that the other person loves them.

My DH works 90 hours a week, I am the primary home maker & care giver of the kiddies (3 & 1 on the way), life happens & we're tired. But in your case only working & school w/ no kids involved, makes me wonder what your relationship would be like if you had kids, no sex at all?

You need to decide what you want & how to communicate this w/ your partner & also do some searching to see if this is what you want to deal w/ for the rest of your life.