His gag reflex - Wondering about a touchy subject....

[Finally_found_the_1]

I am brand new to this board so I don't really know what to expect... I would like some feedback if at all possible. I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man for almost a year now but he has an incredible gag reflex. He cannot even take pain pills or anything. Headache medicine, allergy medicine, etc is all in dissolveable form. It's just something he's had his whole life.

This being said, I have asked him to try to go down on me but he cannot do it. His gag reflex kicks in. I've asked him if its because of anything on my end (no pun intended) and he adamantly says it's not... but I am dying to get some oral pleasure!! I suppose I can live with not getting it... but if there is a way to remedy this, I'm all ears. I don't know how to say anything else to him without hurting his feelings because I don't want to be forceful and *make* him go down there (because i'm not like that) but I was wondering if anyone knew anyway to get around this?? Feedback?

[Ducy]

Wait so he cant swallow pills cuz of his gag reflex? well to me thats things going down the throat...unless your clitoris is a few inches long he should have any trouble...

Now he may have it in his head that going down on a woman is gross...so when he is down there, he is put into the "icky" zone sorta mood. Should he be lying to you when he says its nothing wrong with you, then try showering before or better yet do it in the shower....if hes not trippin out then he may be lying to you, and has trouble with the tastes and scents (nothing against your hygiene lonely, its just some men find a woman to smell and taste devine, while a different man can find the same girl to smell well not so devine.)

maybe try a flavored lube to help persuade him to go down on you...just be careful with what you use, since sugars can cause some mighty big problems.

[dancingdoc2]

Howdy! and welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums.

Without knowing more about what brings about his gags, it appears from what you have said and from the two paragraphs that he has two related problems.

Originally Posted by Finally_found_the_1

I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man for almost a year now but he has an incredible gag reflex. He cannot even take pain pills or anything. Headache medicine, allergy medicine, etc is all in dissolveable form. It's just something he's had his whole life.

Technique would seem to be what is at the root of this. If he can swallow liquids and food solids, then he does not have a problem with gagging, per se. I have witnessed this pill problem mostly with men. It seems that they take the pill dry or with only a bit of liquid and there is no slippery path for the pill to go down. There are at least two fixes for this. First, take a mouthful of liquid along with the pill. Tilt the head back, and swallow. The pill will go right down. If it does not go down in one or two swallows, then he is fighting it and this then becomes a psychological problem.

The second fix is to put the pill in some food. A hotdog works fine as will other small pieces of meet that he doesn't have to chew. Shucks! Dog owners often use peanut butter on the tongue! Now if a dog can down the pill that way, so can he!

I have asked him to try to go down on me but he cannot do it. His gag reflex kicks in. I've asked him if its because of anything on my end (no pun intended) and he adamantly says it's not... but I am dying to get some oral pleasure!! I suppose I can live with not getting it... but if there is a way to remedy this, I'm all ears. I don't know how to say anything else to him without hurting his feelings because I don't want to be forceful and *make* him go down there (because i'm not like that) but I was wondering if anyone knew anyway to get around this?? Feedback?

This, again, sounds like a psychological issue. Why? Because your pieces-parts are not large or long enough to get close to his uvula. He is probably gagging because of the taste or smell exacerbated by conditioning sets him off.

Perhaps you can work together to help him overcome this. One way might be to scoop some of your mucus up with a finger and let him taste it by licking a finger. If this works well, then have him suck the finger but not placing it deep within his mouth. Much of what we perceive as taste (with the taste buds) is actually smell, so licking a finger, first, a few times is really beneficial.

Oh, and speaking of hot dogs, can he insert one in his mouth without gagging unless he attempts to push it all the way to the back of his mouth? If so, I've proved my case.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[BTDTWoman]

Even if he has a real gag reflex problem, how long do you want to stay with a guy who will not give you head? Even if you were able to work through the physical gagging, how would it feel to know that yes, he has conquered his gag response but is doing it for you and not for himself, too? I wouldn't get much pleasure from that.

I know I wouldn't stick around no matter how wonderful he is and how in love I thought I was. I have my needs, and for me, cunnilingus is non-negotiable. Unless a lifetime of unsatisfying sex is an option for you, leave now.

If it were him writing to us about his problem, there might be hope. I doubt there is reverse aversion therapy where a shrink flashes alternating pictures of vulvas and ice cream sundaes until he wants to lick both.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Notice please that "tilting the head back" to swallow anything - TIGHTENS the throat. the pathway is being constricted. You are almost guaranteeing gagging by doing that. Instead - pill, liquid, then relax, and drop your chin just before swallowing to OPEN the throat.

The man does not have a "gag issue" he has a mental block re: oral sex. This might be due to ICK as dancin' doc has said or he might feel it is demeaning -a power issue. Either way, you lose because even if you do "force" him to do it - it will never be as good as it should be. The man has a huge inhibition and a closed mind - so why are you still with him?

[dancingdoc2]

Thanks for the clarification, EEK. To clarify what I meant by tilting the head back was to get the pill to the back of the mouth, particularly if it is stuck on the forward part of the tongue, etc. I should have added this originally.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by dancingdoc2

Thanks for the clarification, EEK. To clarify what I meant by tilting the head back was to get the pill to the back of the mouth, particularly if it is stuck on the forward part of the tongue, etc. I should have added this originally.

Tilting the head opens the airway!

[Ephemera]

Some guys are just lazy and refuse to give oral.

Shame, shame, shame.

[Ducy]

Yes EEK tilting the head back does open the airway...one of the first things I learned in my CPR class.

[EvilEvilKitten]

If you are trying to SWALLOW as opposed to BREATHING - you should drop your chin. After all it is the AIRWAY you do NOT want to open when trying to get a pill into your stomach. Breathing pills into your lungs is not recommended. Gagging is to prevent the wrong things from going into your lungs and to dislodge things stuck.

Sorry if there was some confusion between opening your throat (to the stomach) and opening your airway (to the lungs).