cant come without my vibrator!!!

[latinlove]

hello, im new here, and im trying to find help, i have not been married for long time though, this is my story.

my husband and I met on internet about 2 years ago and we started a relationship, since we lived so far from each other i got a lil vabrator,
we usually masturbated together about 3 times a week on the computer watching each other, then by the last time he went to visit me, we were having sex and i just could not get that horny anymore, so i said "let me get my toy" and after that the sex was great.

we got married and i have only cum without the toy like 3 times, he used to be very enjoyed by it but he has been getting used to it, now he says its ok and i know he means it but im tired of every time we have sex we have to use the toy, i mean is just feel so good and it makes me get so wet and sex is great with it, but i wish sometimes i could cum without using it, i cum when he does oral sex to me though

anybody has any suggestion

[dancingdoc2]

Hello, and welcome to the SI101 Board and Forums. Here are links to some articles that should help you. After reading them, if you have additional questions, please do not hesitate to ask.

-Doc

Part I-

For Women Only- Help! Why Can't He Make Me Orgasm?

Here is a partial quote from the article, above:
Using a vibrator to build one's level of arousal is not bad, done in moderation. If you use one, I recommend putting it away for the time being. The reason is because it generates intense sensations that condition our nervous system to only be responsive to those levels. You need to be able to train your body and mind to become aroused from the much less intense stimulations of a finger, first and foremost.

Part II-

How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?

Part III-

Chapter One in a series (Scroll down to read each chapter along with readers' comments):
INTERCOURSE / ORGASMS / and the gentle art of Humping

For additional insight and information, please read through the list of articles in the Index.

[Brandye]

Look, a quarter of us never have orgasms and another half need stimulation in addition to penetration and thrusting. Oral, fingers, vibe; if it works it is for you.

[Ephemera]

Damn, well you do a whole lot better than half the other posters on this board.

Most of them can't come from thrusting, oral, or a vibrator.

[eminatic]

i can only reach orgasm with a vibrator, but i think it is helping me become more sensitive/aware of the areas that feel good and in time i might not need it anymore.

[latinlove]

well i have stopped masturbating so much, even after we were married i was masturbating with that little toy and watching porn movies almost every day and having sex with him like once or twice a week, and i was not getting very horny when i was with him and also i could not orgasm if i was not watching a porn movie and using my toy at the same time so i decided to stop doing both and im getting hot with him quicker and enjoying him more but i still cant stop using the toy.

sometimes i feel bad as i said befour because we cant just do a quick one, its always a processs, "hold on let me get my toy" "hold on let me get lubricant".

I really love to masturbate but i have stopped doing it so i can enjoy him better.

I also agree that we give ourselfs orgasm, i remember i used to orgasm like in 5 minutes now it takes me some time and i only can do it if we use the little vibrator.

befour reading on the forum i thought i really had a big problem and i was the only one, now i feel a little better, ill start using what Doc said in the article, ty

[BTDTWoman]

I do not endorse the idea that a woman should in any way sublimate, sacrifice, or otherwise alter her normal and natural habit of stimulating her clit so that she might better please or better enjoy sex with a man. Men need to learn how to help us stimulate the clit to orgasm before, during, after or without vaginal intercourse.

Sounds to me like you are 100% normal. Maybe he could go down on you more oten if you are tired of the same old spectacular, ecstatic and powerful vibrator-induced orgasm.

For women, clit stimulaton is not foreplay. It is essential to our sexual fulfillment, just as penile stimulaton through vaginal, anal, oral or manual stimulation is to men.

[curious_woman]

Originally Posted by BTDTWoman

For women, clit stimulaton is not foreplay. It is essential to our sexual fulfillment, just as penile stimulaton through vaginal, anal, oral or manual stimulation is to men.

Not for all, I much prefer penetration over clit stimulation. I tried something that worked as a vibe before and hated it. I can't finish simply with oral either, I need the penetration.

Yes I know most women aren't like me, but don't say essential, say most?

[BTDTWoman]

I'm going to stick with "essential."

Orgasm achieved through penetration is a longshot for most women. You can prefer penetration, yes, but it is not essential.

Female orgasm achieved through clitoral stimulation works just as well and as reliably as male orgasm achieved through penile stimulation. They are essentially the same organ in a different size range, and they respond to stimulation in very smilar ways.

If you have been unable to climax through clitoral stimulation, you may have a health problem similar to male ED, a clitoris that is deformed or missing, or your current technique just needs more work or fine-tuning.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Most, please because I too do not have any difficulty whatsoever having an orgasm by whatever means - even a slight breeze can set me off if I am stimulated enough.

No masturbating for you! Why? Because the vibe stimulates differently than your husband does and you may have gotten lost in or used to that kind of stimulation much to your current regret. So tis time to back off, wean yourself off of the vibe.

Next, do body worship on eachother and massive amounts of foreplay. Then go to outercourse (manual and oral stimulation). Investigate everything from the eye kiss to sucking toes. Yes, you do this to him too. Twine around eachother like two snakes varying the pressure and touch as you go along. Clear your mind. Think only of pleasure given and received. Stop thinking that you can't and start just ENJOYING how it feels. Then he can go for G-Spot and Posterior Fornix stimulation. You have to relax, breathe deeply, and let the feelings roll on through you. Continue relaxing and breathing deeply and you might even have multiple orgasms! Let yourself be unbridled.

and here you thought pornography was stimulating! HAH!!