Alone and depressed...

[curious_woman]

Well my partner left today...he had to go back home to Portugal because of some immigration crap...Originally he was moving here, and he did move all his stuff...but his money ran out after a month and a half, and with no job he could not afford rent for my mother and food for us. So he had no other choice but to go home.

I'm moving to Portugal now, because it's easier for me to immigrate to the European Union; my father was German and his parents have already welcomed me into their home. Problem is my mother lost my birth certificate so have to wait a month or so until it comes (crazy wait I know)then I'll get my passport and fly over.

It's not the first time I said good bye, he left after 15 days vacation in April...but it was harder this time for some reason. Since I got home I've been crying or deluding myself that it's just a dream. I feel lost, unbelievably alone, and so depressed words can't describe it. I don't even have anyone home with me because my mother is in the hospital. I haven't felt this upset since I was suicidal several years ago.

Dunno why I'm writing this, not sure what anyone can do to help...just I have no friends I trust enough to bear my heart with, and my fiancée won't get in contact with me until tomorrow morning at the earliest.

[Steff]

You've lost a big part of u... ur have every right to be upset. Jus dont go back to your suicudal 'stage'!! In a month you'll be with your man again happier than ever... Absence makes the heart grow fonder! Until the morning, try to find something that'll make the time pass by. Good luck!! =]

Steff

[curious_woman]

Oh don't worry, I'd never ever hurt myself now I have someone to live for.

Thanks for the support.

[sera300]

While you are working on what you need to do to get your passport, keep busy. Keep occupied. Spend time w/mom, and take up some hobbies...

[curious_woman]

My mother and I don't exactly get along, although with her in the hospital we've been talking again. Maybe we just can't live together. I can't go visit her though, because I live in the country and I don't drive.

I'll be playing some World of Warcraft to keep me occupied though, and lots of sleep.

Thanks sera

[sera300]

Make an effort w/mom...mend fences. Make cookies or something too, give them to the neighbor, help someone around you who could use a hand. Living w/a parent, uhmm, tough one there. I could not.

Get some stationary, or paper hanging around, each day write him a new note. Save them until you see him and give them to him in a box...

My ex-fiance used to travel 2 weeks per month sometimes 4 for work, came home on weekends only. So it's tough, he did not leave you, this is temporary only! So smile, he loves you...you have the rest of your lives.

[curious_woman]

That paper idea is good, I've been sending him little notes on his facebook already. I'm trying to fix things with my mother...I may hate her sometimes (most of the time) but she's still my mom. Made cookies yesterday for him lol and no neighbours for miles, I live in the middle of nowhere .

I'm trying to smile, he's so optimistic. He told me before he left that I should smile every morning without him, because it means one day closer for us being together again.

*sigh* Things will be better tomorrow when we can talk online at least, but tonight will take forever. I feel like getting drunk and going to sleep lol.

[sera300]

Moms are moms; daughters are daughters...tough relationship & yet the best. She does love you though. Work on doing something around your home, that needs to be done or finished...maybe something to surprise her.

Write a note, hand written, daily...keep them until you see him.

Also, take up jogging, fast walking, rollerblading, or biking in your spare time...whichever suits what you have or your climate. That will help you feel better...you can always shop on ebay or something too...If you get really good a jogging, you might eventually run into the neighbors, LOL!

Or respond to about 40 of the posts here a day & give everyone links to read on the subjects!

[-wittyphrasehere-]

Originally Posted by curious_woman

I'll be playing some World of Warcraft to keep me occupied though, and lots of sleep.

Thanks sera

A woman playing World of Warcraft?
Well, there's a first to everything, I suppose.

[EvilEvilKitten]

I recommend seeing a doctor for some anti-depressants. I have seen more than a few of my friends become so much happier and closer to their best selves once they recognised their symptoms and got the proper help. You'll even get along better with your mother!

Good luck to you!
And you can order your birth certificate online with very little trouble.