Anxiety about her cheating on me - Problem!

[soylent1138]

Hello everyone. I'm totally new to this forum, and am not sure I'm posting in the right place. But here goes.

I have a serious issue when it comes to relationships. I get paranoid about my girlfriend cheating on me... even if she's totally not. The thing is, I know absolutely it's my mental problem. There's no way she really is cheating. This girlfriend of mine is very loving, and definitely a good girl. Everyone knows it, not just me.

Anyhow, I have this problem where I keep asking her questions, checking her phone... etc. etc. Her emails. And there's never been a single shred of evidence to support my crazy thoughts. I'll investigate every thing... and never come up with any evidence. Yet I keep checking and checking and checking.

This all started from an ex-girlfriend I had, who indeed, cheated. So ever since, I've had this insane crazy anxiety problem... some kind of disorder... where I am paranoid about girls cheating on me. Thing is, I know it's ME who is the problem here, not the girl.

How can I fix this mental issue??! Any suggestions?? It really bothers me...

[lustforlove]

just stop being nosey, set a mental block that everything that is hers is completly out of bounds, and not to dare go in them.

[sera300]

See a therapist for you insecurity & paranoia before it destroys your relationship & you.

[lovesfool]

same problem as you
theres a silver lining in yours ,
least she's not on holiday in spain getting drunk out of her head every day.
just relax.
just deal with it as it comes.
you'll be a stronger person for it

[lustforlove]

both of you need to pull yourselves together and stop worrying come on!

[bruins76]

You need counseling to work on your personal insecurities b/c until you work on them, they aren't going to go away & most likely ruin your current relationship. No one wants to be checked up on & accused of stuff that is not happening. I've been cheated on in almost all my relationships, sure I have issues & sure I get insecure, BUT...now I choose to let that stuff go, w/ the help of a therapist that I see weekly.

You can let go of this flaw, my DH cheated on me BEFORE we got married. Now we're happily married, have a home, 4 kids. I have moments that I "think" and sometimes I feel weird. But I've learned the difference in a thought verses being so insecure that I am acting out on it.

You need to work on you, otherwise everyone around you will end up leaving or you may end up pushing your current girlfriend into cheating on you or leaving, either way, it wont end nicely.

[Raidenator]

Originally Posted by soylent1138

Hello everyone. I'm totally new to this forum, and am not sure I'm posting in the right place. But here goes.

I have a serious issue when it comes to relationships. I get paranoid about my girlfriend cheating on me... even if she's totally not. The thing is, I know absolutely it's my mental problem. There's no way she really is cheating. This girlfriend of mine is very loving, and definitely a good girl. Everyone knows it, not just me.

Anyhow, I have this problem where I keep asking her questions, checking her phone... etc. etc. Her emails. And there's never been a single shred of evidence to support my crazy thoughts. I'll investigate every thing... and never come up with any evidence. Yet I keep checking and checking and checking.

This all started from an ex-girlfriend I had, who indeed, cheated. So ever since, I've had this insane crazy anxiety problem... some kind of disorder... where I am paranoid about girls cheating on me. Thing is, I know it's ME who is the problem here, not the girl.

How can I fix this mental issue??! Any suggestions?? It really bothers me...

Alright man, you gotta calm down. Seriously. if you know that she isn't cheating on you, you need to just let it go. I know it's hard, but don't let it overtake you. In the end if you let it control you, you're gonna do something that you'll regret. That's a fact.

Whenever you have the urge to check her emails or whatever, just let it be.

[EvilEvilKitten]

First - stop and THINK - What is going on with you two that you have this need to shout "MINE MINE MINE!" like some two year old fighting in the sandbox over a toy truck? She is her own person - not your possession.

Second - YOU AREN'T MARRIED TO HER. Therefore you have no rights other than those she grants you. If she chooses to lose you because you're are so completely off your head with jealousy - that's her perogative. And if you continue carrying on in this way - she WILL LEAVE you. No question about it.

Third - understand that EVERY time you do these things or think those thoughts - you are cutting off your own testicles - you're saying that you're a LOSER unworthy of a woman's regard and affection. You fear losing her because you doubt your ability to find another.

Your choice: a testicle-less two year old or a man - which are you going to be?

[wellmannered_squirrel]

that was straight to the point

[wellmannered_squirrel]

May I suggest, soylent, that instead of focusing on your girlfriend, her life, her activites and her everything, you should concentrate your energy on yourself. Do stuff on your own and get to know new people, etc.

I think the more you'll feel good about yourself, the less you'll paranoi about your girl leaving you for someone else.

Let her live but more importantly, live .


And just for the record, I think most people go thru a lil cheating paranoia crisis, one day or another,

SQ