Greiving Girlfriend?

[Lyon]

Hi dudes rite staright to the point. About two months ago my g/fs gran went into hospital on a monday and by the sunday she had sadly passed away. Then about four days after that her other nan went into hospital and has been there ever since. Now during all this I gave her the space she wanted but I've still been txting her just so she know im thinking about her and I'm here for her. The point is I haven't seen her for about two months but last week or so we have been getting our realtionship back to normal talkng on phone etc and what I was thinking is how long shall I leave it before I try to get her sexual again. I mean I would have thought that a passionate night with her b/f would help ease her mind and relieve the stress. If anybody out there has experienced anything similar your advice would be appreciated, especially any female advice. Thanx!!

[dancingdoc2]

It is time that you learn a fact of life. It is a fact that the female of the species does not act or react in the same ways as the male. Sex might fix things right up for you both physically and emotionally; however, for a woman there is a much more complex set of emotions going on that have to find a balance, first. I cannot put this any better at this late hour, perhaps someone else can.

My suggestion is for you to let her know that you are there for her when she is ready to reconnect. In the meantime, do not harp on the matter or attempt to push the matter.

[demonbuttercup]

Yeah I have noticed w/ my b/f... (maybe guys in general?)
If he is sick, hurt, depressed, bored, sad, stressed.... any sort of negative feeling.. he's just as horny as normal... maybe even more so! and says that sex will make him feel better.

Myself.. if I am feeling any of the above.. then sex is the LAST thing on my mind!!!
I think for myself is that to enjoy it and orgasm... I have to have both my mind AND body in the moment. If I have other things on my mind..then I can't concentrate on feeling good.

[sera300]

Demon has it right; during some of these times in life women generally feel guilty about feeling good...

[-wittyphrasehere-]

Originally Posted by demonbuttercup

Yeah I have noticed w/ my b/f... (maybe guys in general?)
If he is sick, hurt, depressed, bored, sad, stressed.... any sort of negative feeling.. he's just as horny as normal... maybe even more so! and says that sex will make him feel better.

Myself.. if I am feeling any of the above.. then sex is the LAST thing on my mind!!!
I think for myself is that to enjoy it and orgasm... I have to have both my mind AND body in the moment. If I have other things on my mind..then I can't concentrate on feeling good.

Depression can cause either a sharp increase or decrease in sexual appetite.

[bruins76]

Everyone is different but if she's grieving then give her the space she needs. If however, you'd like to try & see how things go, you can, but don't get mad if she rejects you.

[EvilEvilKitten]

This is what you do: meet her and give her a huge bearhug, holding her just a trifle longer than normal, then let her go and follow her lead. Most of the time she'll want to talk it out - let her all you have to do is to listen and show some interest. Talking, not sex, eases women's grief and other emotional tensions. You have to give her the opportunity to talk. If you can do this, most likely she'll return the favor by giving you the opportunity for sex later on.

[moreplease]

Hold her and give her attention without sex ~ at this point if she's grieving than
she's focusing on other things. This will usually help in the long run ~ intimate
and sexually.

[Persephone]

If this girl is anything like me, the LAST thing she wants is her space!! If so much as a freaking goldfish dies, I am wanting to be held and snuggled and reassured that the world is going to be ok as long as I'm in his arms. I agree with moreplease, if you try to sex her to "taker her mind off things" it may not help. Don't be scared to let her know that she can cry on your shoulder, and if she does, just hold her..