She's having twins....

[Engage!]

I'm not sure how to take this. Took the afternoon off work today to take my wife to the doctor. Since she's almost 10 weeks pregnant, we thought it would be a good idea to have an ultrasound done. To make a long story short, it's gonna be two kids instead of just one.

I heard somewhere that women taking the pill who get pregnant have a greater chance of having twins, but I'm not sure that that's true. Anyhow, it doesn't much matter.

My wife isn't happy. She's had mixed reactions about having one child, but having two seems a bit more than she wants, especially since this is her first pregnancy. We had discussed having two kids, but we didn't really want them both at once. I'm worried that her stress and strange behaviors will increase.

To those who are mothers, are two more work than one? Is there more discomfort with carrying twins?

[demonbuttercup]

Oh Lord
That's all I can say about that one!!!
When it rains it pours!
Good luck!

I feel for your wife.. I know she was already aprehensive...but twins can definitely be overwhelming.

I found this, it's like a blog of a mother's experience of having twins.
From what I scanned over.... having twins involves a lot more pregnancy care, and the mom is more likely to have complications like high blood pressure...etc.
Now it'll be even more critical that you wife takes care of herself!

[dancingdoc2]

I look at this question thisaway: We've had two dogs, twice over the years. A pair (each male and female and related) were much easier to raise and care for than one. This is based upon observations with friends and relatives who have only had one at a time, compared to our "kids".

As for children, the more there are the more work there is. Proof is with these documentaries that look into the lives of families of quints and sextuplets. Often it takes the support of family and friends if not an entire community to help these families.

Two can be better than one, yet twice the work, me thinks.

[bruins76]

First off, congrats! Pregnancy is a miracle in its own, & to have multiples, that's amazing...

Taking the pill is not a factor in having multiples. Unless your wife was using fertility specialists or doing IVF, having twins was b/c of you or her, & your family. It was meant to be.

Having 2 is very much more work than having 1, it's down right stressful. Having one, it's easy, there are two of you & you can do things easily b/c you outnumber the child. Having 2 is difficult b/c now they are against you, in that they don't outnumber you...but they do b/c they require a lot of work.

Having 2 requires a lot of organization & its stressful. I have a pal w/ twins & she said that the first year was a blur & she didn't leave the house much. I have 2 gal pals w/ twins & they said the same thing. That it was impossible to get a schedule going & it was a nightmare. But that now that they are 2 years of age, they are finally catching up.

I have 3 kids (one is a step child) and another one on the way. My youngest is 14 mos. & I have another one due in Dec. my life is chaos but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I will say this. Be glad that your wife is having twins the first time around, and not the 2nd time around. This way, you & your wife will have never known what it was like to have just one child, so the two will be new but it will be all that you've ever known, making it easier in the long run. It's when you have a child, then when you get pregnant the 2nd time around & have twins, that's when the true panic happens.

I know you're feeling confused & stressed. Money is a big factor & life seems like a big nightmare, but seriously...this is a miracle & once you guys accept this fact, all will be exciting & you wont look at this like a death sentence. You'll be surprised.

I guess now the biggest thing is to relax, having multiples is hard on a woman's body. She'll probably be a high risk pregnancy & have these babies earlier than her due date (maybe not, but they are usually like that). It's important to take it easy & reassure her that this is happening for a reason.

Sooo... I am sure you're freaking, but try to take things 1 breath at a time & realize that this is happening for a reason.

I will add this, ppl out there have such a hard time conceiving, some times they have to go years & still don't. Not only did you two conceive, but you got two. A lot of ppl out there would be thrilled & blessed. Try to think of the love you'll get from these babies. Before you know it, they'll be here & you wont be able to imagine your life w/ out them & you wont remember your life the way it was before them.

Again...congrats!

~C

[sera300]

The only thing I can add from friends of mine who have had twins or triplets; they are a lot more work initially but when you are through the diaper & bottle feeding stages, you have the opportunity to begin to really enjoy them all! Enlist help from friends & family.

[EvilEvilKitten]

CONGRATULATIONS!

Seriously you are blessed! For now, your wife will only have to endure pregnancy this once! Then you two will have your quota and can get on with raising your children, developing your careers, and living life without having to worry about pregnancy again. Excellent news! Yes, the quota is two. Sorry, but one of you is getting "fixed". Trust me on this one.

No, The Pill had nothing to do with it.

More work? Of course having twins is more stress and more work. You are going to have to help more than you normally would too. Your family should also be there to help out but try to keep that to a decent level or your wife will become even more dependent.

Motherhood has a profound effect upon women - so be prepared for your wife to change in fundamental ways. I never thought of myself as very maternal - but I very quickly found out after my son was born that I would cheerfully slaughter the entire population of the planet just to save him a moment's anxiety. I went from "laidback and easy-going" to "take charge" in 0.6 seconds! 4 years later, I had my daughter - yes that was by design - didn't want them both in college at the same time. Same thing. Went right into overdrive "Tigress" mode.

Next up!
Diapers, feeding, colic, and teething! What fun!

The trick is to develop a routine and to stick with it. Tuck the children into your lives (not the other way around), take them with you everywhere you can, and yet reserve some special things just for you two alone.

[Engage!]

EEK - some reason that the quota is set at two?

If they're both girls, we will have to try again...... But if we get a boy, I would really like to stop at two. It all depends on how things go.

I can understand the "Tigress" mode. My mother was the same (when she was around). I'm not sure how protective my wife will be, but she's overeager to defend me (even though I don't need it), so I can only imagine how it will be when she's got kids. "Cheerfully slaughter" won't be a joke, since she's hot-tempered sometimes......

What some posters have said about this being a high risk pregnancy scares me to death.

[sera300]

Doctors classify pregnancies as being "high-risk" by various factors such as pre-existing medical conditions, gestational medical conditions, multiple births, and age of the mom. It's a widely used term yet has a negative connotation. Your doctor should explain potential risks for pre-term delivery, low birth weights, delivering at 7 months, 8, and 9, as well as the various "ideal" times.

Just keep in mind; she is young & in good physical health and many women go through the same--several of my friends had triplets or twins and did VERY well.

[HardNgood]

Engaged dude..listen to what EEK says..she is BANG ON!!..now you guys can kill me!! LOL

[demonbuttercup]

Well any pregnancy... just w/ one baby and a healthy mom can come w/ risks.
Did the DR mention anything about extra precautions you need to be aware of since it's twins??

I mean it's logical b/c one baby is an enormous strain and drain on a woman's body... but then to think there are 2 babies needing nourishment, blood flow, etc.