To Women: "Manly" guy, or sensitive?

[anotheranon11]

What do women want in a guy for a long term relationship? A guy who fits the classic "manly" description, or someone who is a little more into the emotional side of a relationship (romantic, open, etc)? Input would be great.

[Laika]

Sensitive all the way. Stereotypical "macho", "bad boy", "top of masculinity" don't do anything for me, no attraction. Sensitive ones, with some female characteristics are very appealing. I am bisexual, maybe that infuences that a bit... I guess I am a bit masculine myself. So sensitive guy gies more harmony for me and I need to be listened to, understood, to be able to talk things, cuddle a lot and cannot imagine that with a "manly" guy.

Of course, "too soft" would be bad too. If a guy is more feminine than me, it's already a problem

[sera300]

It's all going to depend on the woman. I prefer a man who has a hard exterior and kind and compassionate heart.

[eminatic]

ehh...as far as looks go i prefer guys that look something like the guy in my avatar (no, its not a woman ) ...i like a guy to be romantic but not annoyingly dramatic about everything...

[bruins76]

A woman wants a guy who is right for her. In that I mean, be yourself, don't try to fit a certain criteria as it wont work for either of you. If you try to be something you're not, it will just be aggravating for you & eventually your true colors will come out & she'll be unsatisfied as you aren't the man she wants anymore.

Be yourself, and the right gal that fits w/ you will work. If it doesn't work, she's not the right one.

Sure in the begining, no gal wants a sappy man, on the other hand, being a mean, macho jerk isn't going to help either. I guess playing "the game" by giving her some room to miss you isn't bad, just don't try to be too much of a player, otherwise if you're not that man, you'll end up being miserable. KWIM?

HIH, GL

[EvilEvilKitten]

What do I want in a man? Courage - intellectual, emotional, psychological courage. He must exult - being alive is a springing joy. A ready wit and a lively sense of humor. And love me not in spite of my faults but often times for my faults.

Which I have found - hence why we've been married 29 years.

Your question does not work simply because people are not two-dimensional cardboard cutouts. At times he has to be manly, at other times he has to be sensitive - the trick is knowing when to be which.

[-wittyphrasehere-]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Your question does not work simply because people are not two-dimensional cardboard cutouts.

Exactly. Neither the tradition view of masculinity (to be strong, stoic, silent) nor the modern view (to be emotional, show weakness, etc) allow males to show their full range of personality.

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

At times he has to be manly, at other times he has to be sensitive - the trick is knowing when to be which.

Which is a very hard thing to do. Society still has traditionalist ideals engrained in it, and a lot of guys have insecurities for not being able to measure up to it. Few are able to exercise modernist views, since there's the fear of being shamed and ridiculed.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Of course.

[wellmannered_squirrel]

I'll revive this thread and ask another question.



It is often discussed that women will impose standards to themselves, standards sometimes trivial to men (i.e. female beauty stereotypes)
Is the sensitive and manly standard imposed by men or women ?

[-wittyphrasehere-]

Originally Posted by wellmannered_squirrel

I'll revive this thread and ask another question.

It is often discussed that women will impose standards to themselves, standards sometimes trivial to men (i.e. female beauty stereotypes)
Is the sensitive and manly standard imposed by men or women ?

Probably women wanting to have a more nicer, better composed guy. Irony is, "nice guys finish last". Being a well mannered guy usually leaves you betrayed.