Ex wife & child-rearing

[kpodo]

does anyone think its wierd that my x and i work together to raise a child without fighting all the time? my x girlfriend had a huge problem with it and it killed our relationship

[dancingdoc2]

What the two of you are doing is the best for your child under the circumstances. I understand hurt and mad and many other feelings that accompany a breakup; yet, when it comes to children, the two parents become co-parents of the child and even though the marriage stops, parenting does not.

Parents should do whatever it takes to raise children with a unified plan and leave their internal problems aside with regard to the children.

You are to be commended.

[LittleFury]

Originally Posted by kpodo

does anyone think its wierd that my x and i work together to raise a child without fighting all the time? my x girlfriend had a huge problem with it and it killed our relationship

Now that is very refreshing. Thank you for doing the right thing. Now, if some other chick has a problem with it, she's not a girl for you.

[kpodo]

thank you. it takes work but its worth it in the end.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by kpodo

does anyone think its wierd that my x and i work together to raise a child without fighting all the time? my x girlfriend had a huge problem with it and it killed our relationship

Weird? Nope. Uncommon? Yes! At least it's nice to know some parents who split DO act as adults; find a gf who understands & who can appreciate it!

[bruins76]

I think it's great that you get along w/ your ex for the sake of your sanity & your child that you have to raise TOGETHER. If your girlfriend has an issue w/ it, she has to go. You have a child & that comes first, she's insecure & has a lot of growing up to do. She needs to realize that you have a responsibility & getting along w/ your ex for that responsibility is a noble choice & a good one. If she wants to truly be a part of your life she is going to have to realize how important this is for you & your child. I get along w/ my ex and b/c of our 6.5 year old son, it's nice, we don't fight & we don't talk like pals either yet if & when we deal w/ one another we don't have a problem. Then there is the flip side w/ my DH's ex-wife, they fight ALL the time. They were married, have been divorced since 2000 & have a child who is almost 10, they fought today actually. It's nuts! I don't get that. They don't love each other yet they fight all the time. Half of the reason is b/c DH allows her to act that way & doesn't put up boundaries & the other half is cause his ex lives w/ her parents & she has no life & can't stand the fact that we have a nice house & live a good life. She is retarded w/ things. Bottom line, I see the good relationships w/ ex's & the bad ones when it comes to co-parenting & hand's down the good one's are so much easier to deal w/, not only for yourself but for the child's sake.

The way I see it is that you have to deal w/ the person for 18-23 years (pending on the child support order)...so you might as well do it nicely, right? Make's life easier if you ask me.

Sorry your flame is being selfish. Maybe you need to have a heart to heart & decide if SHE is worth this.

[Lovemonkey]

Originally Posted by kpodo

does anyone think its wierd that my x and i work together to raise a child without fighting all the time? my x girlfriend had a huge problem with it and it killed our relationship

your kids come first

My parents divorced when I was 12, other people think its wierd that my parents are pretty good friends, hell my dad brings her shooting with him to the gun range, who would think that bringing your x to the range was smart lol

It worked out great with us. we know our parents get along, they still go to family functions with eachother, holidays are stress free.

keep it up

[kpodo]

thank very much. im still trying to deal with my break up with my x girlfriend. it kinda sucks right now

[bruins76]

Originally Posted by kpodo

thank very much. im still trying to deal with my break up with my x girlfriend. it kinda sucks right now

Now what you just posted has me worried. What do you mean your "still trying to deal" with the break up of your ex? When exactly did you two part ways & for how long were you together & why didn't it work out? I ask these personal ?'s b/c it sounds like you parted recently AND it sounds like you're not over her. If that is the case, your new gal pal is seeing right through you & the situation, hence why she is being "jealous"... If you are giving off the vibe of having to get over your ex in any way shape or form (regardless if you think you're not, believe me, its more obvious than you think), your gal pal is feeling jealous and rightfully so.

Perhaps it's time to give yourself the well deserved break you need from your gal pal but not for the reason you think, maybe you need time to be "you" for a while, focus on what you want, what went wrong w/ your ex & be a dad for a while & a friend. Then when you're ready & have truly understood your break-up, you can focus your time on another lady friend in the right circumstance.

I've been in relationships in which the man was not over his ex & I had to deal w/ that sort of crap too. I too was jealous & angry, but I had every reason to be b/c there was unresolved closure on their part & I was being lead to believe otherwise. What I am saying is you're doing no good for yourself AND this lady friend of yours. You need to make some serious decisions & work things out for you, don't drag another innocent person in your baggage (which we all have) if you're not even sure what your baggage is.

[foxdan]

kids first GF second what is best for the kids