How do I tell her? ... I don't approve

[j56h]

I don't have a major problem, but would like some advice none the less.

My wife has gotten a new shorter hair-do that I don't particularly care for...and she just got a new pair of prescription glasses that I also don't like much. I know it's her choice, but she's asked me what I think and I've kind of avoided giving her the real answer. I told her that I wasn't used to her looking like that and I haven't decided what I think yet.

I don't want to hurt her feelings, but in my opinion, both the hair style and the glasses are much too "old looking" for her. She's 38, but these seem more like the styles a woman in her 50's or 60's would choose.

What's your opinion? Should a husband tell his wife that he prefers her to look a certain way or wear a particular hair style or glasses? Or should I stay out of it and just accept whatever she chooses for herself? If I do stay out of it....should I compliment them when she asks, even though I truly don't care for them?

I hate to make her feel self conscious about such things, but at the same time I like to look at my wife and feel turned on instead of turned off. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.

[sera300]

She asked your opinion; therefore, tell her the "style" does not compliment her features bringing out her true beauty. It's how you tell her & how you say it to elicit a positive response. Additionally tell her what you feel looks best on her. Do you have a right to provide input? Yes, you do.

[Engage!]

Tell her, but do it gently. Like sera said, make positive suggestions, not just negative ones.

[LittleFury]

Tell her you miss her beautiful longer hair. And leave it at that. You tell her her haircut and glasses make her look older, and she might rightfully punch you. I mean, of course you can tell her how you really feel... but if it's a woman you love, why would you want to make her feel insecure?

[Raidenator]

Bah, with my girlfriend telling her that I like it the other way better doesn't do a damn thing for me.

She decided to cut her hair short, about as short as mine and I really don't like it. I told her I really love her long hair, but that doesn't stop her. It's the same with other things about herself.

Still, that's about all you can do though.

[curious_woman]

I guess it depends on your relationship; my fiancée and I are very honest to each other, even brutally so sometimes . Recently he got a haircut...and decided to mess with my head saying the haircut was so bad he had to shave his head. I told him quite bluntly, I was not amused and it's a real turnoff to me, even thought it didn't make me love him any less. He was fine with it and apologized. It turned out he was only screwing with me lol but still he took my criticism. It's happened other times when it's been serious, but thats all I can think of atm.

If shes the sensitive type, do as suggested...when she asks say "Oh its alright, but I preferred it before...it accentuated your *insert comment about a feature of hers you like*". Make sure you let her know you love her either way though.

[learning]

In my experience honesty is the best policy.....that said, you can be honest "kindly" (see above posts by sera and little F).

Delivery of one's opinion needs to be considered and the impact it will make.

[tikteka57]

You have to look at her for how many hours a day? all it is going to do is piss you off! If you dont tell her you are going to have those fellings brew inside for x number of days and then you will explode and hurt her fellings telling her you dont like the way she looks!! And all she is going to be thinking and telling her friends is, "why did'nt he tell me in the first place i love him and would have changed my look to please him". So think about it!

If your wondering how to tell her just be honest and say it in a nice voice and maybe after a massage or something.

[vingo]

Be verry cearful with women i had the same satution before but i was so stupid when she asked me about my opnion of here hair color i told here what that hell it's so bad u look like a whore . I learned in the futuer how to say that u can say oh baby it's so nice but longer make u more sexy also ur eyes verry atractive why u hid it with this glasses i think u have to make and new one to let me see this beatful eyes baby and put her glasses off .
so sorry u have to pay some money for that to buy her a new glasses or contact lol

[EvilEvilKitten]

Forget what a woman in her 50's and 60's would choose, does she or does she not look good? Be objective. Forget if you prefer longer hair, blondes, etc - does she look good or not? She may be just jazzing up her style a bit - as a trial. My own hair is subject to change without notice. Women llike to play with their hair. Just grin and bear it.