Having a threesome when married?

[hotlips69]

Hello,
I need anyones advice about my sitiation. I am a married female 24 and my husband is a 25 man. We have been together for 10 years and we separated once for 2 months. We have been married for almost a year. Everything is great we have 2 children together, our sex life is great, and we have alot going for us. So, my husband has always wanted a threesome with FMF and I have recently thought about it to see what it was like.He has never been with another female before but I have been with other males than him.We have been together since we have been 15. I have been with one Female one time before without my husband there. This female that I was previously was with would be the third and she is a mutual friend. She told me she is bi and she does not want a relationship with anyone and is not out to break anyone up. This conversation took place before we even mentioned anything about a threesome.Would this cause propblems for us if we both want this?
Thanks,
Hotlips69

[sera300]

There are many threads identical to yours discussing the pro's and con's. Do a search and read around. A mutual friend? That's a tough one since you will always be in each other's lives. On the other hand, it could be a mutually beneficial ongoing relationship.

[Alexandra]

If I were going to try and have a threesome, while in a serious relationship (witch I have thought about, but would never do), here are some things I think would help it go smoothly:

1. Hire a professional: That way you can be fairly sure, that the third party is not interested in pursuing something more than sex. Most people I know that have had threesomes, have done it with a friend, which potentially can ruin two relationships.
2. Go away: Go on vacation or even drive a few hours to a motel. That way if things go badly (or even if they don't) you can literally leave the situation behind you. You don't want to imagine your sweetheart f-ing someone else, every time you see your couch.
3. Have rules: The more specific the better! Go through every scenario, you can think of. You don't want to find your self shocked and hurt when, lets say, your sweetie is doing something that you won't do, with someone else.
4. Don't commit: Agree that ether one of you, at any time can back out, and be backed up by the other.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Hire a professional? Oh NO! Good lord - just think where she's been!

The friend is the way to go here. And not all threesomes have to include bisexual activity. After all a man has his hands and mouth too. Two women - no problem. Unless they are two sexually aggressive women like me. But even then, it can be done!

And after he has had his FMF, you can have your MFM - which is absolutely wonderful!

[littlechicky]

It sounds like you have a pretty rocky relationship to begin with (the separations) and I wouldn't do ANYTHING that could possibly ruin even the healthiest and happiest of relationships...including third party sex.

[Engage!]

I would never consider having a threesome. It puts stress on a relationship, and I think that involving a third party (even if your spouse approves) is a betrayal of your wedding vows.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Whether this will cause problems within your relationship depends upon two things:

1. can you differentiate betwen love (emotion) and sex (physical)?
and
2. can you trust the emotional bond between you two?

I encourage all three of you to sit down and discuss this together - perhaps over dinner?

[Yariome]

...And then proceed to desert.

[HardNgood]

Originally Posted by Yariome

...And then proceed to desert.

Proceed to the desert??? I just watched "Even Cowgirls get the Blues"..awesome movie!! LOL...I did read the book while in "uni"..but the show was great....but if you meant proceed to dessert...that is different!!

[Yariome]

haha, I was refering to Evil's post, she said "I encourage all three of you to sit down and discuss this together - perhaps over dinner?" and I in turn said proceed to desert, unless that's what you were refering to.