Should I go out with my coworker?

[applepie]

I've been married for 2 yrs. and I only have sex about 2 times a year. My hubby is just not into sex. And, I should have known since we only had sex a couple of times during the 6 yrs. of dating. I always have to take the initiative. I never really enjoyed the few times of sex that we had. I feel like Charlotte in Sex and the City, except I can't tell my friends about my lack of sex life.

Recently a cute male coworker who is leaving the company started to ask me out. I have no idea if he notices the ring on my ring finger. I feel so tempted to go out with him and just have some fun. Is it wrong to go out with him? Should I be up front with my coworker and tell him that I'm married?

[kpodo]

i think you and you husband should try some new stuff in the bedroom and have some fun.

[EvilEvilKitten]

I wouldn't go there myself.

You should talk with your husband about your varying sexual needs. Hear what he has to say on the subject. His skill and interest level may not be all that it should be.


Is there some underlying medical or psychological condition here?

Why did you marry such a man in the first place?

[sera300]

Why don't you try being open with your husband rather then a co-worker? I agree w/Evil, why would you marry someone with such little interest unless you have the same lack of sex drive? Did you think after the 6 years together it was going to magically disappear?

First it's going to be this guy, then the next one who gives you attention, and guess what? YOU never solved YOUR problem. Think long & hard about your thoughts & actions.

[wellmannered_squirrel]

I do not know why the original question was set aside so rapidly but I would say that you do not have to feel guilty from going out with a co-worker, as long as it doesn't turn into dating.

If you tell your coworker that you are married and accept is invitation as a friend, everything should be fine.

It might actually be fun too.

And also..Telling your husband might be a good idea. lol.


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I find it's a little taboo in our western culture to go out with a friend of the opposite sex (that is not a childhood long friend or anything of the sort) when one's in a serious relationship/marriage.

Why is going out with a group of coworkers ok, but to have dinner with just one of your colleagues is not ?


SQ

[sera300]

Squirrel:

I don't think she is debating if it's okay to have dinner with him; I think she is considering making him dinner. This was the reason for the prelude (hubby does not like sex) leading up to going "out". Probably her hubby couldn't care less who she has a dinner out with since his issue is not going out for dinner w/her, it's the bedroom.

[wellmannered_squirrel]

I got that
but the "why did you marry him in the first place" seemed evasive in my mind.

[sera300]

I read the threads & it's beginning to sound like a dinner etiquette question, especially given your lengthy post about having dinner out with a co-worker. If you re-read it maybe you'll see what I am talking about?

I know my point is; if there is a problem in the marriage, fix it or get out of it rather then dragging someone else into it. Seems odd to me if you are with someone prior to marriage for 6 years and only had sex a few times, after marriage it's not going to get better. The point being, did the OP not take this into consideration prior to marriage?

The point I agree w/Evil on is; if you wish to choose a partner who you are compatible with, it has to be in all aspects.

[Alexandra]

I have to say that it is never ok to cheat! If you want to be with other people you should leave your husband first.

[EvilEvilKitten]

One man, then another, then another - mmmm and there's a downside to this? LOL

She KNEW before she married him that his sex drive was almost nonexistant - so why did she marry him? Did she want to end up "making other men dinner"?
That was her rationale - her excuse she was making, in advance, for her behavior.

As a woman of some experience, NOT all husbands prefer divorce over permitting their wives to play outside of the marriage. Some husbands not only watch but also participate and some even want their wives to videotape her sessions for later playback. You would be amazed!

This is why I do not give the blanket statement that "cheating" is never good. And why I say talk to him about this. He maybe okay with it. He may encourage it. He may ask if he could watch. You never know.

Good luck with this!