gfriend bored of sex

[PuzzledGuy]

I've been with my gfriend for 10 years now. We got 3 kids also, i don't call her my wife on the technicality that we're not married but it's as if. She has a night job as a nurse. She doesn't want to have sex anymore. She told me that hse just didn't feel like it anymore. I have been told that yes people working night shifts were a lot more tired and their libido went down, but that much? Me personnally I would go for once every two days but we actually do it at best once per month. I asked her if it was me but she tells me she just don't have the urge anymore.

I am wondering: Is this true? Is it possible to not want sex anymore for any reason attached to our couple or myself? It's just that I'm afraid she's hiding something that she doesn't want to tell me and also afraid that it will degenerate and that I feel miserable the rest of my couple life...

[sera300]

Encourage her to get on day shift and to see a doctor. Night shift is enough to kill anyone's libido unless they live the full live of one who works nights. Meaning since she has 3 kids, I doubt they are nocturnal. You try it and see how crapy you feel.

[PuzzledGuy]

Yes I can imagine what it's like... Altough she gets a weird shift of 8 working days and 5 days off. Even in her 5 days off there's not even a spark... I understand perfectly what she's going through, I was just wondering if that alone could explain it because I do not feel confident about myself...

[HardNgood]

Originally Posted by sera300

Encourage her to get on day shift and to see a doctor. Night shift is enough to kill anyone's libido unless they live the full live of one who works nights. Meaning since she has 3 kids, I doubt they are nocturnal. You try it and see how crapy you feel.

Hmmmmmm don't know about this advise??? she might ALREADY be seeing a DOCTOR!! LOL

[sera300]

Human beings are not meant so stay up all night, we are meant to sleep during the night and wake in the daylight. Look what happens to melatonin levels when night time hits. I've seen many night shift nurses have all bizarre issues & illnesses with the exception of those who fully live the night shift, meaning when they have a day off they still follow their usual work patterns & sleep during the day. Also, they only associate with those who are up all night! I worked nights for a few weeks on mandatory shift change to cover for those out ill. I thought I was hit by a truck, I felt nothing but apathy!

Before anything interrupted my life to that degree, I would be changing shifts. Perhaps it's time you suggest she works evenings or days...I know night shift hates to work days but they feel better (and look better) in the end.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Night shift work requires special handling. I recommend that she split her rest period. Comes home, sleeps until noon, and then rests again right after dinner before going to work. This is how I handled night work when in the military. I also had a husband, a house, and two kids at the time. This schedule kept us all sane and in sync.

Instead of using an alarm clock to wake her up for work, do some body worship and have sex. Then shower and into her uniform and off she goes with a grin on her face! The alternative is for you to come home at noon for "lunch".

Increase her vitamin levels. This will also help. Most women are inadequately nutriented. As her "almost husband" you should be looking out for her in this regard even if it means bullying her to take a vitamin or to drink her orange juice, etc.

and Why aren't you married? The tax benefits are amazing!

[GothicVixen]

very true. Ive not been interested in years (and im only 22) lol

[PuzzledGuy]

Kitten: She already does that... Gets home at 8am, sleeps till 2:30, gets up to get the kids while I'm at work, gets back to bed at between 7:30 - 8:00 till 11:00.... She doesn't take any vitamins tough so it might be that also.. Anyway I had a conversation with her. It was a bit awkward, and I must admit that at the bottom of this it's probably mopre an insecurity problem from my part. But she confirmed to me taht it was strictly fatigue and that she just didn't want to anymore on a general sense... She plans to switch to day job when all three kids start school and have the same schedule... Hope it'll return to normal then, only it's a couple years wait...

[EvilEvilKitten]

Oookay! We will see. After all it is ONLY a couple of years.

[PuzzledGuy]

hehe yeah but it's not total abstinence either... It's just spread to long periods in between... Just to make my point we've went at it once since my last post... If i'm lucky i'll get another shot before next month