Tired of Excuses

[JuneMoon]

Just to put as a caveat, this is completely my opinion and does not express the opinions of others.

But I am tired of excuses and self-perpetuated fears of cheating. Just because you hear horror stories about someone else's lives and excuses on why they cheated in their relationship does not mean you bully or try to mold someone else to your sexual needs.
And thats what I am tired of. I am tired of excuses and my boyfriend fearing he will cheat if I do not give him a certain something on the regular. Because listen, I have known men and women to cheat and the sex is phenemonal for both of them. People will cheat no matter what excuse or reasoning they give behind it. That is a problem they have to console for themselves because I do not buy the blame game. They are responsible for their own actions and consequences. It's a different thing when you absolutely abstain from loving each other but when you do love each other consistently and you put great emphasis on a detail and use that to make or break a relationship you cheat yourselves of a fruitful experience.

Yes, we all heard or maybe have our own horror stories on relationships but those are things out of our control and we have to accept it. I will not let another person's bad steering effect the way I live my life. I use to fear so many things. I can't now. Once you let fear inside your hearts it stays there to dwell and pump doubts in your mind when the bigger picture of a relationship exceeds your expectations. People have it so good, they sometimes tend to forget so they go looking for a fault to correct.

My boyfriend can either be a rock that sits on the side of a stream. The rock will stay there wasting away as life (the river) takes away minerals and makes the rock smaller. Or my boyfriend can be, like me, the pebble. You start out small but you are right in the river flowing with life and wherever it takes you, you become a mature, better person. But that takes time. Whatever he is asking from this former virgin (he was my first) he needs to understand I will grow into myself and have faith that it will style with his.

He told me the sex is good but he wants it to be great. Thats fine. But there is no sense in becoming angry when they feel genuinely tired from the day to go to sleep. Relationships are not perfect. People are not perfect. If something as significant but insignificant as that is going to keep him from marrying me, he is a fool of his own circumstances.

[Brandye]

I do not know what brought that on, but I hope you feel better!

[rdan05]

Maybe public writing is a cathartic for her?

[alban lusitanae]

huh... she just needed to vent something... don't know what, but she did it anyway.

[JuneMoon]

My apologies but I am venting because we had another argument about me being too tired to have sex. And its not that I am lying either, I really was tired. He saw it as me going back to my comfort zone and rejecting him. I was not rejecting him, I was tired. And then he goes on to say "see thats why I am afraid of committing." Why? He thinks hes going to be unhappy and then cheat. Thats silly. But I didnt get to express that to him today because hes in a bit of trouble so this takes a backseat a little bit.

[gehai]

We all get sleepy. But how many times have you claimed the "Im Tired" excuse? If its a constant thing then how can you be mad at him?

[sera300]

Is he doing anything to help? Such as helping out so your not so tired and can spend intimate time together?

[EvilEvilKitten]

Excellent, Sera!! The man complains and does nothing to help? How's your diet? Are you getting sufficient nutrients and sufficient rest? Are you exercising at all? How much stress, besides these arguments, do you have in your life?

A man who will not committ because he's afraid he will cheat on you because you aren't ****ing him every chance you could? Jeez! So it is ALL about him is it?

Some loving partnership you have there.

[alban lusitanae]

EEK, Sera, while I agree something is wrong and the guy is a jerk for saying that, maybe you're jumping to higher (or lower depends) conclusions.

June, I think you shouldn't let this pass though. When he solves whatever problem he's having, you REALLY have to sort this out. What are you, a sex slave?

[Smuggler]

well there is always morning sex.......