What happened?

[Raidenator]

Up until last night I'd been daiting a girl for about a year and 3 months. Let me include that we're both 19. Our relationship has gone great and we hardly ever fought at all up until about a month or so ago. Lately I've been struggling with some things and been stressed the effect of which made me act like something of a jerk inadvertently to her. Last night she let me know that she wanted to be alone for a while. I'll paraphrase what she said.

"Everything has just been changing lately and I'm very happy with my life right now but with all these new things happening I just think I want to be alone for a while."

At this point she has just moved out of the college dorms and into an apartment, has a new job, new friends, etc. She says that we'll still probably get back together but I just don't know if I believe that. I think she's just saying it to make me feel better.

Everything was going fine, we even talked about me moving in with her when her roommate moved out but then this happened. I know this word is thrown around a lot but I honestly feel that I'm in love with her. Which reminds me, she also said "I still love you, I just think that I'm in love with you."

Oh and another thing is that before she dated me she was with another guy for 2 years.

I apologize for all this information being jumbled I just don't know what to do now. It just crushed me when she did that. I'm looking for any advice anyone can give to me as to what she's thinking etc.

She says that she still wants to hang out and be friends but I'm afraid that the only way I can get her to want me back is if I don't see her. So that she misses me.

I don't know anybody please help. Is it over?

[alban lusitanae]

She dump you and it hurts. Many things may be happening, but that's the great possibility. Suffering is bad, but you'll get over it. Hang on there budy

[Westles]

She's dumped you for a reason pal, think positive, what can you gain from this? meeting lots of new women and sowing your seed so to speak! I wouldn't speak to her,let her come to you first if she wants to make contact.

I can talk from experience, the friend thing will NOT work, trust me.

[rdan05]

Learn from you mistakes and move on. She is trying to be nice, ignore her but be polite if you run into her. Go out and date many women not one.

[Yariome]

They are all right, and also could be very wrong.

Me and my girlfriend as well had a very similiar situation, great times, had plans for the future then stress got in the way and we fought. We took our breaks, and like everyone said you SHOULD date other women during this time, as well her. After that, if you two get back together it'll be stronger than ever because you will have tried other things, change is not bad believe me.

If it doesn't work than like they said you are going to just have to move on, no offense to any ladies on here, but once a woman's mind is made up to this point, you have one option, and that's to move on. Now that's only saying IF she has decided to end it competely.

Wish ya luck!

[Raidenator]

Thanks for the help, it seems that she wants to go for more of a "trial separation" deal. She wants to go out and date other people and take a break for a while, and I'm thinking that on the offchance that she finds someone else she's going to keep him. So I'm not even sure what the deal is.

I told her I'd be fine giving her a break, because everybody wants to be a bachelor for a while but I just absolutely hate the thought of her dating other people.

I agree, the whole friends thing never works out. Like I said I'll just not see her until she realizes (if she does) that she made a mistake and hope for the best. Dammit though, that's the worst part. I guess I just gotta find a way to keep my mind off of it for a while.

The hardest part is that my best friends have just barely left for two years so that basically I have no one anymore. I was kind of counting on her to be my friend/girlfriend when they left.

[Yariome]

Yeah believe me, it's no cake walk. And it may not be so much she wants to be single, maybe she just wants to make sure that she wants to be with you and no one else, women can be crafty lil devils.

All you can do is wait, it's the hardest thing in the world, but all you can do, if you pressure you'll push her away.

[Westles]

Dont be waiting for long though mate, your wasting your life waiting for something that might not happen. Join a gym go there several nights of the week and make a night of it, do something to get you out of the house, you dont want to be alone at home because all you will think about is your ex.

I talk from experience, i split up with my ex about 2 months ago now, i havnt been out the house since its great! surprisingly im glad im out of the relationship now because i releaised what things i was missing, i've since met someone knew and shes awsome!

[Yariome]

Yeah I agree highly, just get out try your best. If she wants you back then awesome, but waiting around will only make it worse. If you can at least get out maybe you have the chance of moving on.

[sera300]

Trial separation? Come on you two are not married. You are now split and single. Get out there and re-establish YOUR life. Hit the gym, meet people, join a group, do something other then waiting around for her.

Words interpreted from a woman; she is saying "I am moving on in a different direction, I love you, but there is more, I have it together you do not." Trial? "I want to see what it's like out there, doubt I'll be back, I want to let you down easy".

Get your life together as a single man; if she suddenly pops up, talk to her and think about where you are in life at that time and if you really want a relationship with her. But only after you have your own life together.