Light bondage - ideas?

[Clouded]

Hey i am new here..been reading for quite some time..but never posted..finally decided to break the ice. A big hello to everyone!

My gf and i jus passed 2 years recently.we are both 20..we never had sex before because we believe it's not the right time yet..but we had our make out sessions and strip games. It's been great! I love her very much. We been talking a lot about fantasies and things like that.

At one time when we made out I held her hands down and lock her legs with mine. She said she felt really nice. So i suddenly thought of trying light bondage and suggested it to her.

So i was thinking. Light bondage without sex. Any suggestions what i can do? I was thinking of tying her down and teasing her a little (kissing her everywhere). Then blindfolding her. What do you think of this? Do girls actually like this?

[sera300]

I would not want to be tickled--hate it. Teased? Only as a prelude to sex...

[RF4569]

Do you guys just abstain from intercourse or from all sexual activity(ex: oral, masturbation)

[Clouded]

Only from intercourse. I haven't done or received oral before though.

[RF4569]

Well if you are willing to participate in oral/manual stimulation, the bondage thing should work.

[Clouded]

ahh..not sure if she's interested with oral/manual stimulation..lol..she's kinda of shy..see how it goes..

[EvilEvilKitten]

Clouded - the whole thing is she can excape any responsibility for whatever happens if she's bound - i.e. has no choice in the matter.

I'd not go there just yet - not before manual, oral, and intercourse. All too often, newbies leap right into kink before getting the basic skills mastered which results in the worst sex. You two need to get those basics down before you go any further. Like trying to scuba dive to 1000 feet before you can even swim! And no skipping "accepting responsibility" for your actions and their consequences!! BCPs and condoms will be used - every time. If you're going to indulge in adult behavior, you have to be adult about it. And so will she!

[Say Hey]

I am not personally into bondage and such,but I would think it would be wise to take it slow and easy. Make sure to startw ith light bondage aand that she can escape anytime she needs to or that she can call it off and you back off. Also, I would think she may want to have the same oppurtunity to explore you being tied up as well. Again go slow and do not force the issue which may damage this relationship and others you and she might have.

[Clouded]

lol..thanks..hehe..most probably not goin there so soon

[dancingdoc2]

Another analogy concerning "experience" is in understanding that a circus clown is the best athlete there which is why s/he can do some of the faux pas in their act.

What no one has mentioned in this thread on the subject is in having a SAFE word. This is a word that is not used in normal conversation and when spoken then all activities STOP immediately without question--and not two seconds later. If you do not agree on a safe word, then do not do bondage.

Words like "no", "stop", "don't do that" "quit that", etc., are all fair in love and war including bondage, so do not use any of them as a safe word. Shucks! even if not into bondage, love making in general should have a safe word or even seemingly innocent activities like mild short-term tickling could get out of hand.

I agree that a couple ought not rush into this. Spend time developing mutual trust and learn how to make love in all of its vast variations, first. *

> So i was thinking. Light bondage without sex. Any suggestions what i can do? I was thinking of tying her down and teasing her a little (kissing her everywhere). Then blindfolding her. What do you think of this? Do girls actually like this?

I agree with Sera. There should be a payoff at the end--like an orgasm, otherwise these activities could be construed as torture no matter how innocent the intent.

Using a blindfold can add to the suspense; however, I'd know what her reacton would be before surprising her. You do not want her to freak out. On the other hand, you want to build suspense and have her wondering what will happen next. Teasing is OK as long as it leads somewhere positive. Teasing can be negative and you do not want that.

* It is important for each person in control to know his/her partner's responses to stimuli. For example, women often become frustrated and can sometimes loose a great deal of excitement if her partner puts a pause in the proceedings just prior to her achieving an orgasm. Do this more than once and she will not be a happy camper. So, what is good for the gander is not always good for the goose. A guy's ardor can be greatly increased if his partner pauses on the climb toward a climax, then starts again a few moments later. Rather than stopping her climb by pausing, consider modulating your stimulation so it does not stop, just relaxes a bit before intensifying a few seconds later. She should not loose any hard-fought ground this way. Understand that frustration can be maddening and neither of you want this.