05-08-2007, 08:08 AM
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Sounds as if she need some re-conditioning. Her past sexual experiences were not good, she learned to deal with it through becoming apathetic. Now when the same sexual "taste" occurs her behavior resorts to a negative reaction (or in this case one of apathy).
First you need to tell her just what you told us on here and how you feel. And ask her does she feel odd or what when you want to try something new? Isn't your wedding soon? Like this weekend? Also, sounds as if she was degraded along the way by a lover, parent, etc. And she feels "nice girls" don't do these things! How do you deal with it? You are going to have to be the Kinky one, adding the spice to expand her fun. Just tell her if she is ever uncomfortable to let you know and you both don't do the particular act. As she learns this is fun, does stuff more, hopefully the negative is replaced with a positive thought or feeling. As she feels better about herself and her sexuality, deviating from the norm, hopefully then she will begin to initiate...
__________________
Our backgrounds & circumstances may influence who we are but we are responsible for who we become. 
Last edited by sera300; 05-08-2007 at 08:16 AM.. Reason: Added 
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05-08-2007, 08:20 AM
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It not the sex part, it's the relationship part which requires so much thinking. If you did not love her you would not think twice about it! I added to the post. You are going to have to be the initiator & hopefully when she is comfortable she will do more...
At least she's open to it! Congratulations & best wishes on Monday!
__________________
Our backgrounds & circumstances may influence who we are but we are responsible for who we become.
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05-09-2007, 07:06 AM
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You also might try to get her to become less submissive by playfully teasing her, getting her engines going, and then scampering out of reach. The more aggressive she becomes, the less she will fear, and the more open she will be.
The next time she says "if you like" you might try to drive her nuts by repeating it back to her - "if you like" "no, if YOU like" and so on. Another effective technique is to say "Dammit woman, what are you afraid of? Come on, tell me. I'm can take it!" and stand there with your arms open wide. If she blows you off, mime taking a javalin to the heart and then say "I still live. You'll have to do better than that, ya big chicken!"
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