Make her feel sexy?

[MarriedMan123]

I have been married for six months and my wife's sex drive has decreased significantly over the last year and a half. When we do have sex she puts forth little to no effort to please me in bed. While there could be a host of things effecting the differences in our libidos like her birth control, the weight we have both put on, or that I'm a kinky bastard an she is not, she has admitted that she does not feel sexy and that is having an effect on our sex life. I have tried several things to make her feel sexy like lingerie, candle lit dinners, shouldering more of the housework, but nothing seems to work. How can I make her feel sexy and improve our sex lives?

[sera300]

Take her to the gym with you! It's her not you.

[Hubby55]

I have to wonder why you married her. You had warning signs...
It's better to resolve those issues before marriage...

[tmps]

i agree with hubby55
if there are issues then they need to be resolved

[Say Hey]

I am in a similer situation. My wife is heavy and it effects her esteem and how sexy she feels. We joined the gym and it turned out that I was the one who started losing weight faster than her and she gave up. I try to often tell her that she is sexy and make her feel that way. Ultimately, for me I have just begun to wait until she tells me she wants sex. She is not spontanious at all nor does she like anything but missionary. I think it is more that she is lazy than anything. I would say try to talk and make her work more in bed by not doing it all.

[sera300]

But Say Hey:

Did you encourage her to keep at it? We all know men loose faster , but still the weight loss makes us feel better about our appearance, keeping energy makes you want to have sex!

[Orow]

Feeling sexy has to come from herself - as the others above me has already written.

You can help her along some of the way - going to the gym ect.

But if it continues then maybe she ought to see a therapist to work on her issues.

It's terrible in general to hae low self esteem.

[Say Hey]

I do try to keep at her, but have to make sure it doesn't jsut make her mad. She feels at times i am nagging and she does not feel sexy.