Am I too young?

[Ratach]

You may have seen me answering questions here and there around the forum, but now, I have one. I am currently 19 years old, I will turn 20 in October. I have recently found myself thinking about long term relationships more and more frequently. This bothers me, because when I look around, all of the people around me my age are still partying and "single". My question is this, am I too young? Is there something wrong with me, psychologically? Is am I just more mature than other people my age? What is going on?

[sera300]

Too young? No. But why do you want the relationship? For what reason do you not want to just go out and date? Generally we date, hoping to find someone special, then settle into long-term relationships.

Is this your decision or thought due to potentially entering into (with ease) a sexual relationship? No, I am not being nasty here, Rat knows why I ask....

[Ratach]

Originally Posted by sera300

Too young? No. But why do you want the relationship? For what reason do you not want to just go out and date? Generally we date, hoping to find someone special, then settle into long-term relationships.

Is this your decision or thought due to potentially entering into (with ease) a sexual relationship? No, I am not being nasty here, Rat knows why I ask....

*tongue in cheek* Why of COURSE, sera, that is EXACTLY why I want this relationship... But seriously, now, I don't really know why I find myself thinking about these things. It is not the sex, I know that. If I wanted sex, there is a woman here who is interested in me sexually, but that is all. She just wants the sex, I want a relationship, which seems a little counter intuitive to me... Thus my question...

[sera300]

Don't give me your beginning crap part!!! --Meant lovingly, the same I would say to my brother.

Do you wonder if the upbringing, which we discussed, is influencing your choices? Meaning what about dating multiple women? Then settling into a solid relationship?

No, you cannot see me work on the old car... It's been garaged for 5 years.

[Ratach]

Not sure exactly what you mean sera. I will have to continue this later, I need to get ready for work.

[sera300]

Catch you later...what I mean is I think you are caught in a moral dilemma and battling it...remember the thread Catholic Guilt?

[dancingdoc2]

I just got through posting this on another thread. Food for thought?

I think its very healthy at your age. Especially if you are both going to go away for college. Most HS relationships where people end up at different colleges never make it past Thanksgiving of freshman year. On top of that, many people change significantly while in college. Between all of the new people that you meet and the new experiences you encounter you end up discovering more and more about your own identity.

[Invader_Akira]

Do you think you're too young? I got married when I was 18 (I'm 19 now) and I still do things that I would do if I was still single (except sleep with other people, it took me a long time to commit to my husband sexually and I don't think I can do a one-night stand to begin with.) I'm confused on something though, are you dating someone ATM?

[Lovemonkey]

I got married when i was 22, I was never the party type of person, and all of my friends were. not abnormal for you to want someone who wants to be with you for a very long time. I love my wife, and would not have changed a thing. I completly understand your wanting a long term relationship, and wish you luck in your search

[starrystarrygirl]

You're not the only one and I wouldn't worry about the people you see who are single and partying. Some people just prefer that, while others (me(21) and my husband(20) included) prefer to settle down and be more laid back. I wouldn't change a thing about mine and my husband's relationship, it's very strong and it works that we're both homebodies.

I can't speak for him, but perhaps for me it is the need to feel close/stable with someone. Or perhaps I was just ready. But I'm no psychologist. Anyway, I can't say that I really think about the reason we decided to tie the knot and settle down on a psychology level. It just felt right, along with all the other factors of our relationship.