B/f stopped orgasming - Advice needed

[daisy adair]

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years and we live together. The first year of our relationship was pretty normal, we were very physical. My problem started around 8 months ago, when my boyfriend stopped orgasming during sex. Later we began to stop having sex as regularly as we used to and it became a routine of perhaps once a month when I asked him or told him I wanted to. He hasn't had an orgasm since then.

I've tried everything I can think of but nothing seems to bring him to that point and although I know sex should be not just about the orgasm I can't help but wonder if its because of me, i.e. that he's just not attracted to me anymore, that things have got this way. What hurts the most is the fact that he rarely wants to have sex and when i ask for it, its routine and boring and i wonder if he's just doing it because i'm asking him to.

In all honesty, I have some issues regarding my body and quite low self esteem and this is taking a bit of a toll on me and him both. At this point I'm convinced he's just not attracted to me anymore although he deines this and blames it on the stress of his work load and studies. Could someone please offer any advice or tips. I really do love him and I know he loves me but I feel like our relationship is taking a beating which could end it, as I feel pretty upset n depressed most of the time. Just to clarify, we're both pretty young (21)

Thanks in advance.

[sera300]

His sexual issues are his problem and he needs to want to fix the matter. He needs to see a doctor to pinpoint the problem weather it's physical or psychological. If he said he's not interested in sex to you, he feels this is normal behavior?

As far as your self-esteem issues, you need to address those yourself. Too often people get into relationships to find their own identity and self-worth. They are insecure, seeking security in their mate. Guess what? These relationship fail and if they manage to stay together, it's a co-dependency.

Seriously you both need to get some help here but only if he is willing. If he is not, it's time to look for another place to live. Not b/c of the lack of sex but the lack of working through issues & relationship needs.

[Say Hey]

It sounds too me that both of you need to seek some help. At 21 your drives should be high and not able to get enough of each other. I know your esteem issues are tough to deal with b/c I deal with them myself. But you must remember that the problem is most likely not you but a physical and psychological one for him. He needs to get help if he wants you to stay around.

[tmps]

i agree with say hey, obviously there are some issues that you need to work out

[muhammad009]

before i offer my advice to you i would like to say that i agree with the above members advices. at a young age like 21 these issues are normal and you may need to see a doctor to seek help. for your boyfriend, i think he may be tired of same 'ol routine, so if all else fails, try some variety in your sex life, play secret treasure games that lead to the bedroom, or try different locations for sex. you can always just go out for a fun day in the town and do all the fun things your boyfriend loves to do, and at the end of the day dress sexy enough and act like you really don't care about sex while teasing him..this should work for you. but as stated before use variety to give you the spice IF your boyfriend is only bored of the samething. if thas not the case then he should go see a doctor and find out what the problem is. and as for your self esteem problem. there is no need to worry about how your body looks, if there is something you can do to give you that little edge then go ahead, start excersicing, put more make-up,buy that sexy dress, watever it is make sure u are confident. remember even the most drop dead gorgeous models will agree that they have self esteem problems. everyone is not happy with their bodies so you shouldn't worry about it either..if there is something you can do to improve your body, then go right ahead.
i made this reply long but i hope it helps.
and if you need more advice im always happy to give you.
good luck and keep me updated

[EvilEvilKitten]

Daisy - get off the man's back! If he can't come, then he can't come. Stress is the killer of all fun and having an insecure woman on his hands is only making it worse! CHILL OUT. Don't do any of that cheesy 'sexy dress' stuff either.

Instead - focus upon fixing your self-esteem issues. Get professional medical help if necessary.

Confidence, understanding, and a strong, lively sense of humor is better than any 'sexy dress' cliche'.