i need some advice

[jayman1086]

i recently broke up w/ my ex gf like 2 or 3 wks ago and now she wants to get back together. she has put me through a lot, a lot of minds games and i dont want to go back to that cuz its completely unhealthy. so how do i tell her gently that there her and i arent getting back together? i know it will hurt her no matter what but i need some advice on how to do it a gently as possible.

[sera300]

You just tell her it's over. No other way, just be clear and firm on your stance, there is no "nice" way.

[Matador]

Try explaining to her the pros and cons of you guys getting back together and your reason for not wanting to get back, i'm sure there is no right way to do it but what ever you do, don't lie to her, if this is a big step for you and what ever the future will be, it needs to start with the truth. It's not easy cause in this cases it's much more easy to just lie than hurting some one you care about with the devastating reality, don't blame you if you follow this path, but in any case good luck.

[tikteka57]

There is no nice breakup just say no!

[EvilEvilKitten]

"No, thank you." and keep on saying it. Sound BORED when you say it. If she persists the fastest way to get rid of someonne is to flatly and without explanation contradict everything she/he says; also in a bored tone.
Do NOT answer her calls, letters, emails, or whatever - she's erased from your life. Keep it that way.

[jayman1086]

but i dont want to hurt her like that by just cutting her out of my life and im friends w/ her best friend and i dont want to lose my friend in the process. plus i dont know if i should tell her in person or on the phone or what.

[HardNgood]

there's a difference between hurting someone and just being upfront and TACT. A lot of times people drag out a breakup feeling they might "hurt" the ex...fact is, you are probably hurting them more by not being upfront and truthful. you are prolonging the agony. Be clear and be affirmative. Just do it!
If you dump her and lose friendship from the others, those weren't real friends, so it would best to find out what peer group you have going. Use the phone or in person?? Use whatever way you CONNECT with first. If she phones you first...tell her then. If you "see" her first,then tell her face 2 face.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Will you please "grow a set"? You're a man not a lap dog. You will not lose your real friends in the process of shutting down one who is clearly "not for you".