Freak out..or let it go?

[apost3]

My fiance looks at single's ads.. as I've previously bitched about.. but swore he stopped. Recenlty, he's at it again..even JOINING for a 3 day PAID trial to a site. This really bothers me..he denies he did it, but I know he did (another long long long story...).

So... how would you feel? I've told him if he ever did it again (this was last year) that would be a deal breaker for me and i'd be gone... He denied it EVER happened and says he can't imagine life without me... Well, my theory is if you can't imagine life WITHOUT me..why are you even looking at this crap..is it my replacement??

I don't want to be told what I should or should not do.. I want to hear how it would make YOU feel if your s.o. (whether fiance, spouse or just boyfriend) was looking at singles ads and even PAYING to join for a temporary membership.. Thanks in advance.

[demonbuttercup]

I agree I would be pissed!
I mean the discussion of porn comes up a lot on here and how girls will feel jealous of that. But at least those girls on just on dvd/PC and you can pretty much count that your man will never meet them in real life... much less sleep w/ them.
But these girls are REAL...living in your area..looking for a guy...so um yea... I don't know how you'd deny that.. especially if you paid for it!!!!!

[sera300]

If my fiance was looking at singles ads and taking a three day trial membership, I would believe he was not serious about marriage. If he was bored hanging on the computer and wanted to look, I would not care b/c many times you see folks you know and did not know they were single again. But if my fiance joined, he would have a nice pretty diamond ring to wear or to save for his potential match. More to the point; I would realize he is not serious about committing and is looking for something better to come along. Furthermore, I'd wonder how many women (or men) he's contacted for dates.

[HardNgood]

so you've learned he is a liar, dump his a$$..

[sera300]

Originally Posted by HardNgood

so you've learned he is a liar, dump his a$$..

My thoughts exactly! If he just wanted to look, why lie? Not to mention if this is the pattern of behavior before marriage, want until the wedding.

[cyclefreak]

Yeah, it sounds like he is not serious about getting married to you. Sounds like he is not the man for you, I'm afraid to say.

[Say Hey]

To me it sounds like he wants his cake and eat it to. He wants the best of both worlds....if he can find someone to hook up with then he will but if not he still has you. If you told him it would be a deal breaker if you ever caught him again then let it be. Otherwise he will never respect your words and view you as a woman who throws out idle threats. I say break the deal and find someone who will love you and be true to you.

[EvilEvilKitten]

I'd LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES!!!! That would be GREAT! We could have sooo much fun together!!! PARTY TIME!! Unfortunately, that isn't happening. But I can dream!

Of course he's not the man for since you aren't the woman for him! This does go both ways. You both want different things in your relationship.

[Chino]

I think it really depends on the site he is on. The reason I say that is because match.com is very different from adultfriendfinder.com. In my opinion...its worse if he's on match.com. adultfriendfinder or something similar...he paid the 3 day trial to be able to see each girl's posted naked photos.

So, let's recap match.com...he's got some explaining to do. adultfriendfinder...maybe I can explain. When guys fantasize/masturbate etc. they tend to be very literal about the subject and first hand knowledge is a guy's A+ material. Its all the girls he's slept with, his sig other, his sig other's friends, girls he work's with...girls he saw earlier that night. Beyond that there's porn...great though it is...we can't see these people as REAL people cuz they're porn stars. So, to bridge the gap between the familiar and the professionals we find things like real (non-professional) girls that are willing to post nude photos and do things our dig other may not do or we wouldn't ask them to do. Just a thought. May truly be a bit of a porn issue despite the "purpose" of the website.

[apost3]

The site was mate1.. similar to match.com from what I gather. I am looking at confronting this issue this weekend and leaving him. We've been together almost 3 years and I can't imagine my world without him...but I just can't go through this.. On top of this, there are other issues, such as his addiction to porn and the fact that he doesn't want to have sex with me..hardly ever. If you read my previous posts, you'll see the problems from the past.

I appreciate everyones input, and will continue to check for new advice/comments. Thanks again....