Going Limp

[PrettyPussy]

Ok, so in the middle of sex, he goes limp. WTF? Is it me? How do I take this? It has only happened with this guy, and on a few diffreant ocassions. Never happened in any other relationship. Is it me or him? and Ladies, how does it make you feel when it happens to you?

[sera300]

It's not you it's him. You have to talk to him to find out if this is a regular issue with him or not. Actually he should talk to you about it. Cannot take it personally at all, the last guy I dated the same happened. He told me it has happened with many partners and it was an ongoing problem. He was not willing to see a physician about it. I did not let on how frustrated I found it but after a few months it was not getting better, I think I could have stripped naked and danced around the room and it still would not work. If he was not willing to work through the issue why should I be the only one trying? He acted as if "this is the way it is" and felt that all men have the same problem, he saw no problem. The times of success were very few and far between and were rare. I gave up. This was the only relationship where the problem was regular!

[Brandye]

It is his problem. Take it that he has some issue, physical or psychological, and if he wants to do something about it, he will. Your only input is to be supportive unless you want to dump him.

[PrettyPussy]

Well, we are married, so I don't think I'll dump him. lol. He says it is him, and I have done well not to show my frusteration, until the last time, now I think he is afraid of not pleasing me. I still get off, but it's not the same if he don't to. I've tried to get him to go to the Doc. about it, but he says it's to embarassing. (We live in a small town, where the doc. is also a friend, so that doesn't help). Is the some kind of specialist for broken penis? lol, sorry couldn't resist. But really, would he just go to the reg. family Dr.?

[sera300]

If the family doc is a friend, have him go to a urologist.

[foxdan]

It has happened to me on two actions and I relate it all to the mood<, Mr went soft on me because of something out of the ordinary happening (Kids knocking on the door or our baby suddenly crying) and just kills the moment (Make no mistake it made me feel soooo inadequate because WOW my wife is such a turn on, It might be that he is under pressure to try to perform and all the worrying that he is pleasing you makes him go limp.
It can also just be the case that he has low blood pressure why not just go for a general check up it will not hurt either way

[maniak3141]

Well, I can't post an answer, but I can offer a sypathetic male point of view. My wife and I have been married for 28 years, she has always had a modest interest in sex, but we have gotten along just fine.

Problem in recent years for me to ensure that her modest interest in sex continues, I have been focused on ensuring that she is having a pleasurable experience when we have sex, paying attention to exactly what she likes, how she likes to be touched, being sensitive to her needs that essentially I lose interest in the whole affair by the time it gets around to meeting my needs. My wife normally has 3 to 5 orgasm's per session, I gather they are pretty good as there are occasions where she passes out and is usually exhausted by the experience. I don't dare do much for myself as I don't want to risk coming early and taking the wind out my sails so to speak.

So, long, round about answer. My advice is to ignore the softie for the moment and over the next few weeks to focus on making him feel like he is an object of your affection and lust. Think about his fantasies, maybe indulge one or two....and when success occurs, just be happy and keep it up...no pun intended. Sometimes us guys (at least me) get so wound up in making sure we are doing a most excellent job...remember most guys are focused on end results....that we just lose the reason why we are doing it in the first place.

It becomes work....not fun. Do what you can to make it fun again, sounds like you love each other and it is worth the effort.

Maniak

[Say Hey]

It sounds like to me that he is having a problem which just might be psychological. If he is not willing to go to the doctor who is a friends is there another doctor in a nearby town that he could see? Or maybe he could see a specialist?

[foxdan]

Originally Posted by maniak3141

Well, I can't post an answer, but I can offer a sypathetic male point of view. My wife and I have been married for 28 years, she has always had a modest interest in sex, but we have gotten along just fine.

Problem in recent years for me to ensure that her modest interest in sex continues, I have been focused on ensuring that she is having a pleasurable experience when we have sex, paying attention to exactly what she likes, how she likes to be touched, being sensitive to her needs that essentially I lose interest in the whole affair by the time it gets around to meeting my needs. My wife normally has 3 to 5 orgasm's per session, I gather they are pretty good as there are occasions where she passes out and is usually exhausted by the experience. I don't dare do much for myself as I don't want to risk coming early and taking the wind out my sails so to speak.

So, long, round about answer. My advice is to ignore the softie for the moment and over the next few weeks to focus on making him feel like he is an object of your affection and lust. Think about his fantasies, maybe indulge one or two....and when success occurs, just be happy and keep it up...no pun intended. Sometimes us guys (at least me) get so wound up in making sure we are doing a most excellent job...remember most guys are focused on end results....that we just lose the reason why we are doing it in the first place.

It becomes work....not fun. Do what you can to make it fun again, sounds like you love each other and it is worth the effort.

Maniak

good advice

[Sustayned]

Hmm. I don't think it's low blood pressure because I've had low pressure all my life. But I've never lost an erection like that. On the contrary, after ejaculation, my erection stays for as much as 20 minutes (so long as she is enjoying it. If she's done, then so is my erection.) which is a good thing because my wife normally doesn't start building to her orgasm until she feels the warmth of the ejaculate. What I'm trying to say is that the more I feel she is turned on by me, the more turned on I am with her. Don't get me wrong, I'm no Don Juan and I've been married for 33 years. But on this subject, I'm pretty certain it's not low blood pressure. I have asked my doctor how normal is it to sustain an erection after ejaculation and he just laughed and said, "what does it matter? Consider yourself lucky and let your wife enjoy it." Good enough for me.
On your particular problem, I think that last long post was pretty good advice. It sounds as though he may be having some type of issue relating to wanting to please you, and being afraid that he won't.
When it loses its erection, try not ending the sex but altering it by cuddling him lightly with your fingertips and letting him know that there is no hurry and if it doesn't return, there is always later or another day. And by all means, let him know how good he makes you feel when he is successful. Hope that helps. I'm no counselor for sure. Just trying to put myself in his place to imagine what must be wrong.
Good luck