No nookie

[Gypsy]

My SO and I have been together for 8mos. Over the past 4 months or so, our sex life has been virtually non-existent due to his lack of interest. I have never even come close to experiencing something like this before, so I am very confused as to what may be causing it. I am 28 and only in my last relay was able to finally lose all of those young girl inhibitions. He is 32 and often claims "I'm not 18 anymore" where as I respond with "You arent 58 either".

I am a very attractive woman that can't keep guys away from me when out in public. I am very free spirited and fun. I spoil him rotten and love him very much. It just seems as though in the last several months, he completely has no desire for me. Anytime I try to initiate any sort of activity, there is always some lame excuse. (I'm hungry, tired, have to pee, we were fighting yesterday, etc...) I am extremely tired of constant rejection by him and extremely frustrated sexually. It hurts my feelings that I feel so unwanted by him. I have tried to talk to him about it both jokingly and seriously. He says he loves me and is still attracted to me, but it certainly does not feel that way given his actions(or lack there of). He knows I cry often over it and always dismisses it as me being "silly". I can't convey how much this is hurting me.

I have run through all of the possibilities in my head (health/medical, cheating, lack of desire/attraction to me, my own insecurity) only to leave me continuing to feel so unwanted and unattractive when I know how sexy I am. I don't want to cheat on him, but I need more. I want it more often as well as more passionate lovmaking sessions, more just quickies, more adventure. I want him to bury his face in me and enjoy every minute of it. I want him to enjoy mind blowing BJ's.

Any advice on what may cause him to lose interest like this and/or how I can reignite that fire in him? Sorry for the long post, but I am so upset and confused over this.

Edit: I guess I should also add that I often come home to turn on the TV to Playboy TV. Constantly see him devouring other women with his eyes. And when I am awake at night sexually frustrated or upset from being rejected, I have to listen to him moan, squirm and babble about whoever he is being intimate with. Which leaves me to believe that it is not a gay thing or a medical/health issue.

[doah2]

Has he been depressed? on any new medication? some medication can cause ED and alot of guys are to shy to tell the doctor now me on the other hand i go to the doc and tell him i want viagra and cialis i dont need it

[sera300]

If he is content w/ your sexual relationship, I think you need to re-evaluate the relationship. It's more then just a sexual issue it's the fact that he does not care about the effects on you. Is this the man you want to be with? One who cares so little about your needs? You cannot fix a problem-- meaning his problem/issue for him.

[EvilEvilKitten]

WOW! He's there masturbating while thinking of other women leaving you sexually frustrated beside him??? Has he no regard for you at all?? DROP HIM and MOVE ON - being sure to tell him why on your way out of the door.

[dancingdoc2]

I don't believe she mentioned masturbation, only that he talks in his sleep.

[unknown11]

sit him down and talk to him

[EvilEvilKitten]

Yes I'm sure he's just talking in his sleep.
The facts remain unchanged.

There's a significant lack of consideration from her SO so it time for him to become an ex-SO.

[Gypsy]

Thanks for the replies.

I have tried to sit him down and talk to him. He either doesnt want to talk about it at all or brushes it off as me being "stupid" or "silly". I agree that the larger problem is his lack of consideration and that he seems to dismiss the effect it has on me and our relationship. I have left him before, only to return with promises of things changing. My logic tells me I know what I need to do and that is leaving him reflecting on where things went wrong. Yet my heart doesnt want to let go, but I know I dont want to continue so unhappy. I also certainly dont want to go into my 30's sexually frustrated and deprived.

Any additional advice or support is greatly appreciated.

[Sirene]

Im in exactly the same situation with my girlfriend,.
I know what i should do too, but I dont want to.
Im just trying to not get so sexually frustrated all the time.
I forgot how many times ive had to wait until she goes to sleep so i can relieve myself.
I still love her though & she has tried to change but says she cant.

Guess we're both at a dead end.

[EvilEvilKitten]

There are plenty of men out there Gypsy - Good Hunting!