Porn & my girlfriend.

[Sirene]

I was talking to me girlfriend on the phone last night, she said when she was on my computer & she started to type down a web address my history came up on the URL history (it happens when you type down www.) & it was a load of porn. She said she has a problem with it & it seems like cheating to her.

She said "how would you feel if I was jerking off while watching another guy"?
I told her it isnt like that, I told her it's more the act of it that turns me on rather than the girl. She said "so how come you dont watch ugly girls"? I told her I watch whatever, if an ugly girl happens to be in on the act then so be it.
She was aware from the very beggining that I watched porn, I didnt think she realised how much though.

She seems to resent it all, she says "How many times can you watch & be turned on my some guy cumming in some lasses mouth"?
I didnt really know what to say.

What can i tell her to reassure her?
I know i cant give up porn but i want her to feel better about it.

[demonbuttercup]

Dude, as freak-nasty as some of the stuff you say you and your G/F do on here, I can't imagine how she wouldn't expect you watch lots of porn, lol.
I don't mean that as an insult....its just from what you've said on here, ya'lls sex life isn't vanilla.

[Sirene]

Yeah I know. Most of the stuff we do i get from porn.
I dont think she reaslises that.

I just want her to feel better about me watching it though. I dont want her to feel like its cheating or anything.

When we first started going out she wanted to see what kind of porn i had on my computer. She didnt say much when I showed her some girl being covered in sperm & some chick licking it off.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Sirene - time to do a bit of investigating! What kind of pornography does your lady friend enjoy? Do you know? If she says she doesn't, well, that may not be strictly accurate. There is a wide variety and some of the newest are "woman-centric" that is made specifically to appeal to women by women. You may want to run that kind by her and see what she makes of it.

What she is currently doing is comparing her looks against those of the porn girls. You may want to point out that those girls are usually "manufactured" and will be gone in about 3 years at the most - it is tough industry. Also point out that you, being a decent guy, prefer "the real thing" i.e. HER!

[sera300]

Sirene:

I agree w/ EEK...she is being insecure right now; exemplified w/her comment about watching ugly ladies...find some porno she enjoys and watch it w/her...show her that she is the one you are attracted to.

[Sirene]

Yes she is insecure about the way she looks.
There's no chance she would sit down & watch porn with me. It kinda seems she's against it. She doesn't really masturbate either.

She's said "How do you not get bored of just watching people have sex"? & I told her there are thousands of categories out there. Like I said before, I think she resents the idea of it all & has a close mind about it.

Yes some of the girls are manufactured, but I tend not to look at those girls. I look at really pretty natural girls. No fake boobs, no tiny little ass. Just real every day girls. Young girls at that, 18 & up, the kind that won't be gone in 3yrs.
Maybe I just need to make her feel pretty, I tell her all the time but she's always had a confidence issue. Im seeing her tonight & im not sure if i should bring up the porn issue. I know I cant stop it, & she's pissed off with it. I guess theres no point in talking about it because there's no solution to it.

She just feels like im cheating, i dont want it to feel like that.

From the beggining I always hid the fact that i watched porn with other girlfriends, this is the only one ive been truly open with.

[Beans518]

I don't know maybe it's just me, This is the second post that I've seen with a person who found porn on someone's personal computer and then had a problem with it. I don't see how a person could have a problem with something that a signifigant other does in his own home. Maybe cheating, yes, but porn! How can you cheat with pictures? They can't give you a std, no one can get pregnant from it. Maybe she just wants all of your attention? And of course I agree with the confidence issues. I just don't understand it myself. What's wrong with a little self-love and better freaky sex 'cause that's all you're getting from it.

[sera300]

I think this is the point in your relationship where you both find a compromise, if this is possible. If she is so opposed to you watching it & refuses to watch w/you, is this something you are willing to give up? Other the other hand, her feeling as if you are cheating is not fair at all to you. It's like saying "be certain when you walk down the street you never look at another person, in lust"; If you were turning her down for sex and choosing to watch porn instead, I would see her point. If you bring the subject up to her, I would go back to the point that you were open & honest from the beginning about watching it & what is the issue now? Have you tried to talk to her about why she is so insecure about her looks?

[ChiliPepper]

I think the best scenario is to do what several people have suggested - perhaps include her in your viewing, or, make your own movies!

Theres nothing more exciting than watching yourself and your S.O. go at it!

But, if thats not an option, I would just involve her in finding a movie you would both enjoy together. Something non-threatening. Take her to a shop, look around at all the toys and movies - and let HER choose one thats not threatening.

I think the most important thing for women to realize, is that men are visual creatures, and the ACT is what they are enjoying - not the particular women.

To men, they are nameless, faceless bodies - nothing more. And, I can virtually assure you, the only role-playing men are doing, is inserting their current GF/ or wife into these SCENARIOS.

Enjoy yourself, and make porn something you can both enjoy.

[EvilEvilKitten]

What is on other people's computers is no business of mine. What is on your computer is no business of anyone else's. Got it?