Q: marrying the person you lost yoru virginity to?

[Muffin]

Out of curiousity, I thought I'd pose this question.

Who here married the person they lost their virginity too? Or do you know of anyone like this?

Also...

Who here waited til marriage to have sex?


What are your thoughts on doing this?

[sera300]

I did not wait but friends of mine married their one & only. They met when they were 15, dated for years, lived together for 10 years, and then married. Worked for both of them.

Thoughts (for me personally) would be not to b/c sexual compatability is important in a relationship and I would not want to wind up on opposite ends of the spectrum on libido. When one person has a high desire and the other has little/no desire there is no way to compromise & one person always feels hurt and unsatisfied.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Did not wait. Did not marry my 'first'. Ignorance is not a virtue. Sexual compatibility is of major importance within a marriage. One should carefully consider it beforehand - and base one's considerations upon some experience. The few I know who did marry their first are all divorced now.

[Brandye]

Never been married so, if it were not for "pre-marital sex" there would be NO sex.

[SexySass69]

I'm engaged to the person that I lost my virginity to. It's not quite the same thing, but it's close enough.

[EvilEvilKitten]

According to the MSNBC Sex Survey of Feb 2007 - only 1 in 6 married respondants have only had one sex partner.

[underpressure]

I did, we didn't wait until we were married or anything but I lost my virginity to my wife.
She wasn't a virgin.

[sniperboy]

I did. Don't hold it against me...

[NizeGie]

It's not exactly the same thing*, but surveys of number of sex partners generally suggest that men who've only had one sex partner are fairly rare (and most men had quite a few -- how many varies wildly with the survey, but it's typically well into double digits), while it's more common for women.

Incidentally, the results of these surveys almost always reveal their own inaccuracy, since the average number for men is typically much higher than for women. Momentary consideration of the relevant math makes it obvious they should be exactly equal. The most common explanation is fudging in two directions: towards over-counting by men and under-counting by women. Which, I suppose, calls into question what I said in the first paragraph above.

An alternative (and possibly correct) explanation is that the surveys are accurate, with one relatively minor problem: they omit, either due to poor sampling or inaccurate answers, correct data from a small percentage of women who have a had a lot (as in hundreds) of sex partners, particularly prostitutes. For example: if 99% of the women in your population have had, on average, 3 sex partners (of which quite a few might have had just 1), and 1% have had, on average, 800 sex partners, the overall average will be about 11. If you miss that 1% (either because your survey doesn't reach them, or they don't want to do the equivalent of writing "prostitute" for their occupation), you'll hugely understate the average.

Originally Posted by Muffin

Who here waited til marriage to have sex?
What are your thoughts on doing this?

I don't even think I know anyone who did. It seems like a really bad idea to me. If you make this your cardinal rule, then it seems to me like you're going to be highly motivated to marry someone, simply because then you can have sex. This can lead to various bad things, such as marrying too young to the wrong person.

_________
* "Number of sexual partners = 1" is not equivalent to "married the first person you had sex with" for a variety of reasons, including the fact that a person might not be married (yet, or ever), a person may ave had sex with other people after being married, a person might have had sex with other people before being married, but come back around, etc.

[sera300]

Nizeguy; So do you formulate feed back studies, or are you a statistician?