Boyfriend not interested in sex

[katybaby59]

Ok guys...so I need help! I am 21, and I've been living with my 26 year old boyfriend for over a year. Our sex life used to be amazing, and I mean AMAZING! I never even had an orgasm until he came around...well not only did we have sex at least once a day, but we also experimented alot (toys on eachother, anal, etc.). It was a very healthy relationship, and I miss it. About 3-4 months ago, things started slowing down...lately, we have sex once a week (if that!), and it's plain old "wham bam, thank you ma'am" and over with. He used to greet me afterwork with new toys to play with, or initiate it at least all the time--and now I feel as though if I do get it, it's either because I'm asking for it, or because he's doing it because he knows it's been awhile and he figures 'hey, why not?'. I am an attractive girl that loves him and will basically let him do whatever he wants with me. So why doesn't he want it anymore? I have asked, but he says he's just going through a phase, or it's stress from work, or he's just "not that sexual of a person" (which is crap because I've obviously seen his very, very sexual side). I know he's not seeing anyone else, but I can't figure it out. I need to fix this because we are planning to move across the country together next month, but a big part of me is hesitant to continue forward so seriously if I will forever go to sleep at night feeling the way I do. I have never felt so unwanted in my life and I just want my Sex God back...

[EvilEvilKitten]

You may love him but it doesn't sound like he's all that into you and this moving together may be what he sees as his chance to get away and see what else is out there. Sounds like he's stressing!

Talk to him!

If nothing comes of it, do NOT move with him and just move on by yourself.

[Brandye]

The two of you should talk it out with help - a marriage counselor. It sounds very much like this is going downhill for you.

[Beans518]

Talk to him and let him know how you feel and let him know that you also want to know how he feels, But I don't think that this will go any futher. Don't make the same mistake I did. I got stuck in a five year bad sex relationship and now I'm miserable! Don't get stuck cross country with this guy.Move on while you're still young and can.

[Old Kid]

My ex is a psychologist and a large part of her practice is marriage counciling...go figure. Anyway, I just can't for the life of me see people who are only "living together" going for "couples counciling" I mean if things are that bad already(in one year), why proceed any further. Married couples with joint property, kids, family and years together it makes sense. There are just too many people out there to force the issue with someone who doesn't do it for you anymore. Beans is right.

[sera300]

Old Kid:

I agree 100%, I have heard so many peole who live together, unmarried, yet act as if they are; they have to go to counseling to work it out! They behave as if they are legally bound! That is the point of not being married, if you cannot work through it together it's time to part, no property division! So if you are unhappy in the relationship and he/she will not talk it out; it's time to move out, and to move on not move across the country! Get out on your own and find your own identity, you both will be happier in the end.

[cyclingseasons]

Agreed. Your problems in the bed are probably a manifestation of stresses outside the bedroom

It could be work, it could be a loss of interest in the relationship