will it get better?

[Lucky_13]

i'm 21, female, i've been married for just over 2 years now. my husband was my first and only partner. he will be 35 in two months.

my problem seems to be that i really have no feeling in that area. i don't know if we're just in the wrong position, but i just don't really feel much of anything without clitoral stimulation. even with toys on my own, i don't feel anything. i've heard that its hard for women to enjoy sex to its fullest until their 30's, and also that having kids actually helps, but i don't see kids in my future.....ever....and i've got a ways to go to 30.

[Matador]

Well, I've heard that most of what you feel is on your head. And I think that if you are going to wait until you are 30's to start trying feeling something you are going to get very disappointed. For what I know, is during your teenage years when you start discovering what you like and what don't, and during your adult life you just make the best of it, but that doesn't mean you can't start experimenting any more. My advice is that maybe you should try something to increase your arousal level, maybe try thinking on some else (no harm on doing it just don't tell your hubby) or maybe some more foreplay before sex. I don't know, that you have to figure it out.

[sera300]

I have never heard having kids helps...seems more like it takes away from enjoying sex...too tired and never enough time. Have you tired picking up a few books on the subject and reading together? It may spark some new ideas for both of you...

[Brandye]

About a quarter of all women never experience orgasm. Then, half of us (including me) require additional stimulation to thrusting to achieve orgasm. Clitoral stimulation is the key for most of us.

We women seem to reach our sexual peak in desire in our late twenties. I have had patients in their 30s (one in her fifties) experience their first orgasms. There is a book about "ladies first" or some such in which the male author argues that the woman should be stimulated to orgasm first, no matter what it takes, before the man. Many of us are most "receptive" immediately following orgasm. So, you and your husband focus on you first - digitally, orally, whatever - and both will be more satisfied, according to this view.

Virtually all stimulation in your genitals is transmitted to your clitoris. You just need more direct stimulation.

[Lucky_13]

i can orgasm on my own, through clitoral stimulation, have been doing that for a while now. but i mean for normal penetration, its just all mushy. i don't like recieving oral, even when its good, its just bleh... i find orgasms with clitoral stimulation and penetration at the same time are just much more intense. i guess its really just going to come down to positions.

[EvilEvilKitten]

It is okay Lucky - just the way you're made.

I sincerely doubt that women in their 20's are at their sexual peak. Most of them are "all show and no go" or focused upon kids and career. Women in their 40's whose kids have left home and whos careers are progressing nicely are far more 'active' than their younger sisters.

You might try finding your G-Spot helpful.

[cyclefreak]

Women in their 40s turn me on. Grrrrr!