how do i talk to him about this?

[hedgehog]

ok...so this is pretty much about my boyfriend's masturbating habit....
its not that i think he's gross, does it too much or anything like that...the thing is he always uses my blankets and leaves them dirty and wadded up when he's done....in addition, although i get the feeling that he wants to be alone while he's doing his thing, he usually sits on the couch in the living room or some other completely not private place, which makes me feel awkward and like I am the one who has to leave the room and not come back till he's done...i'm not sure how i should approach the subject without sounding like i am just jealous or being rude to him...any advice? please help me be tactful!

[sera300]

If you are present why is he just having sex alone? That part seems odd to me since I am sure this is not a one time occurrance. He does not include you in his play? As far as the lack of cleaning up...I would address the issue the same as if he left dirty dishes in the sink, or dirty tissues on the floor. He is a guest in your home and he should respect that and your property...to me he is being very disrespectful of you. Frankly, I am suprised he does not see something wrong with his behavior. Just be honest and firm about what is acceptable...there is nothing wrong with you speaking up!

[Matador]

How is your sex life? Maybe he is trying to send you a message ...
I do think it is rude, but sometimes I wish i could have the never to do the same thing when my wife is just there doing nothing and I'm scratching the walls after 3 weeks with no sex. Next time ask him if he needs help or if he wants you to leave.

[cyclefreak]

I think he may have a problem. He prefers to masturbate by himself in your presence, rather than have sex with you? That doesn't sound right. And messing up the bedsheets and not cleaning up sounds a bit off too, as if he's deliberately doing it to upset you. At the very least he should use tissues, and not mess the bedsheets. I could be wrong, but his behaviour sounds a bit deviant to me. I'd be wary of this guy.

[RED46]

I think he is SELFISH, which would make him a taker and not a giver. I would think twice before marrying him.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Sheets and blankets on the living room sofa??
Wow! And yet you want to be 'tactful'?

OKAY! Try this the next time he starts - remove the sheets and blankets and hand him a towel. Stare at him from close by and take notes - ask him to "repeat that please I didn't get that motion down quite right in my notes".
When he's about to ejaculate, ask him to "slow down you're moving too fast for me". while you fantically scribble in your notebook. Then before he's recovered, ask him to do it again because you think you missed a few strokes in the middle there.

Be VERY SERIOUS while you're doing this.
Think of yourself as a scientist carefully observing the masturbatory habits of some odd primate.
Which would only be the truth.
Then the next time - take pictures saying you need them to illustrate your paper.

[ua322]

Originally Posted by hedgehog

ok...so this is pretty much about my boyfriend's masturbating habit....
its not that i think he's gross, does it too much or anything like that...the thing is he always uses my blankets and leaves them dirty and wadded up when he's done....in addition, although i get the feeling that he wants to be alone while he's doing his thing, he usually sits on the couch in the living room or some other completely not private place, which makes me feel awkward and like I am the one who has to leave the room and not come back till he's done...i'm not sure how i should approach the subject without sounding like i am just jealous or being rude to him...any advice? please help me be tactful!

At the risk of sounding blunt, I must ask this: did your boyfriend grow up in a cave? What the hell is his problem? Was he raised by wild dogs or what?

[cyclefreak]

Yeah, exactly. I think this guy has a real problem.

[EvilEvilKitten]

I still think my idea would work.

[hedgehog]

thanks for the suggestions guys...
i'm not sure tho...i guess i am really not trying to get him to quit masturbating in front of me, so much as to quit acting all weird about it...
for example, when i say anything about it, whether its just asking him if he wants to be alone, or telling him not to use my blankets or even watching him and simply refusing to leave the room, he suddenly acts as if its a deviant behavior or something, and will only do it when i have left the house...
if i come home early or unexpectedly and he's in the middle of it he will literally run into the next room as if i'm about to "catch" him or something... i realize he may want privacy but so far i can't say anything to him about it without him just being all quiet and acting like i am criticizing...
mostly i am looking for advice on how to approach the subject in a non-threatening way...
anyone? thanks again =)