Better or worse?

[What you got?]

Hi,
Im new to this site but really need some advise. Me and my girlfriend have been together for over 5 months now and i love her more than anything (i believe her when she says she loves me too) . We started having sex 6 weeks into our relationship and 2 months after that sex dropped to about once every 2 weeks, due to her lack of interest (not mine). But as she has never been able to orgasm by intercourse or the touch of a man, i think sex is seen as a chore for her. She says 'i dont see how an orgasm you give me can be any different to one i give myself'. Is this true? Is the feeling the same? I just want her to 'let go' in order for her to experience the feeling, but she cant or doesn't want to do this. Sex is not that big a priority for me but as we are only 21 (she is 23) it worrys me. I dont want her to go her whole life having unsatisfying sex with me. After all if she doesn't want it to get any better then it wont, it will prob only get worse, right? What can i do?

[ua322]

If anything, it will get worse over time. In fact, I would EXPECT it to get worse over time.

If sex is an important issue for you, then you are not compatible with her.

There's really not much else to say about this.

[sera300]

If she is not willing to try to make it better, it will not get better. Orgasms (for me) acheived with a partner beat self-stim. any day--to answer your question.

I found a long time ago (after a 10 year marriage to a man I loved very much but he did not frequently want sex) find someone who you are sexually compatible with. Since the divorce (not for the sex reason) I will not stay in a relationship with anyone, I don't care how great he is, if we do not have similar sex drives and desires to try new things. I always said I could not be married to a man who did not enjoy oral sex, and I did not. Now my standard is even higher.

If your sex life is lacking now and she is unwilling to try, you WILL find yourself miserable. You need similar tastes!

[sera300]

Let me re-phrase the above...I did not marry a man who did not like oral...I was not trying to say I did not like it. Sorry for the confusion...

[EvilEvilKitten]

She's very inexperienced if she thinks self induced is better than orgasms through mutually satisfying play. Give her a G-Spot orgasm and she'll soon learn the difference. Think about it - which orgasms do you prefer, buddy - those from masturbation or those from penetration?

[ua322]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

She's very inexperienced if she thinks self induced is better than orgasms through mutually satisfying play. Give her a G-Spot orgasm and she'll soon learn the difference. Think about it - which orgasms do you prefer, buddy - those from masturbation or those from penetration?

Some people are just not sexual. Period.

And if that's the case with her, he needs to just move on because there's nothing he can do that will "rock her world" except maybe scrub the shower and do some dusting.

[ua322]

Originally Posted by sera300

Let me re-phrase the above...I did not marry a man who did not like oral...I was not trying to say I did not like it. Sorry for the confusion...

You want a man who likes to RECEIVE oral? Wow, that must be hard to find.

[sera300]

Hey ua322...

It's a tough one when you meet someone who is really great but he does not like oral! Either giving or receiving...he was a great guy in all other aspects, we were compatible but I could not get beyond this one...I thought for a while I could, but in the end...nope.

So to answer, yes, there is a few of the out there...believe it or not...

[ua322]

Originally Posted by sera300

Hey ua322...

It's a tough one when you meet someone who is really great but he does not like oral! Either giving or receiving...he was a great guy in all other aspects, we were compatible but I could not get beyond this one...I thought for a while I could, but in the end...nope.

So to answer, yes, there is a few of the out there...believe it or not...

Good God, some guys just don't know how good they've got it.

So it was important enough to you that you ended it? I mean absolutely everything else was just right?

[sera300]

There were other issues such as lack of affection, career-traveling, etc. Sexually we were compatible as far as frequency, and in the beginning he was into oral, not a lot but some. Over time, the oral became something not to be done...he finally admitted he did not like it & it did nothing for him. As much as I made my plea, it was ignored. What it boiled down to, he did not care how I felt but was rather consumed with his own wishes and unwilling to yeild and meet a common ground. This subject had been the beginning of many arguments since he was not upfront about it and would not discuss it...until the end.