Our 8-year itch?

[gogo8078]

I need some input here. My wife and I have been married for 8 years now and we have 3 kids together. We are in our 20's and have never had sex with anyone else. Recently my wife has told me that she wonders what it would be like to have sex with someone else. She feels this way because when we have sex, she dosen't like to kiss, have her breasts touched or licked or anything else. She is not sure if her feelings are just with me or if it would be this way with everyone. The funny thing is that our sex life was great before we had or first kid. Then, the sex immediately stopped!
She did say that she knows for sure that she wants to be with me, but she just has a little itch. I am really confused over this whole ordeal because I love her so much and I don't want her to have any regrets with us in the future. On the other hand I don't think that I could handle letting her have sex with someone else. At first I thought I could, but after thinking about the details I just couldn't. She has told me that if i have a curiosity that she would let me fulfill it just as long as she didn't know any details of what happend.
I have told her that I am not comfortable with the whole idea and that if her desire is that great, then we should just divorce. DID I MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE? ... HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR THIS ITCH TO GO AWAY?... WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP HER GET OVER THESE FEELINGS?

[Luvs2plzU]

You and your wife need to seek some professional marriage counselling...things change when you have kids..especially for her(hormone wise) and with you (sexual expectation wise)..I keep saying the same thing over and over...but really meeting with a marriage counsellor is just like getting a tune up on your car, boat, etc.(I'm not trying to playdown the importance of a human relationship here..just an example)...she should know that chances are if she started something with somebody new...they would in all likelyness begin by "kissing","breast petting", "gentle licking" ....they wouldn't just becoming in with a "hard-on" and planting her whereever they might be...so she might have to get back to enjoying the kissing, breast petting and gentle licking...so talk to her and try to get the two of you for some professional help.......that's my offering to you....Happy New Year

[EvilEvilKitten]

In her 20's and has 3 kids?!?! If nothing else - she's tired and afraid of getting pregnant again! What were you thinking? Anyway - go to the marriage counselor!! You two need to seriously talk.

[carbheat]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

In her 20's and has 3 kids?!?! If nothing else - she's tired and afraid of getting pregnant again! What were you thinking?

What are you thinking? In their 20's and 3 kids is not crazy. Especially if there are twins in there (which we don't know.) Stop projecting your views on when and how many kids to have on other couples.


Marriage counseling would be a good idea. You may also want to consider something like Marriage Encounter.

[gogo8078]

Another question is if this is normal? What I mean by "this" is the curiosity deal. I am curious as to what it is to be with someone else too, however, I choose not to act on it.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Humans are by nature gregarious so yes, we are curious about others. This does include sex.

Three children is bound to make any woman tired, harried, etc. especially if she also works for a living. This also makes her disinclined to engage in sex.
My two were bad enough. Parent- teacher conferences where half the teaching staff and the assitant principal gang up on you are not fun and this was in kindergarten! So, yes, what were they thinking. Just wait until those kids are teenagers and then the college tuition bills come!