Having an affair

[eldiablo_si]

It's a bit harder when you actually have a diagnosed medical condition that damn near prevents coming to such rational conclusions. In more detail, I am diagnosed with bipolar 2, which means that I am rapid cycle. I go from being on top of the world to the deepest pits of depression many times in a day. If you hit rock bottom that many times, it doesn't matter how rational or consoled you were earlier. Like right now, I feel fine. My life is pretty good, I am seeing someone and care a pretty good bit about them, but later I might have trust issues, self-worth issues, and other things of that nature. Basically, what I am saying is, there is no point in trying to regain hope, when it will just be shattered very soon. I know my situation is very unique, but I can honestly say a relationship (or the stress from it) ruined my life. Now I really respect your opinion Sera, as you have greatly helped me in the past, but I think I might have a very unique case that disproves what you are trying to say.

[sera300]

When I read your first post on this thread, that's where my reaction was drawn from when I said it's easy to be bitter. After you have explained more, I understand more of what you overcome daily. I hate to see people give up hope for finding happiness because of one persons (or a few individuals)actions. However, I understand your point. I have to say despite the fluctuations which you have, the only piece is to hold on to is; understand when you are down there will be an upside.

Glad to hear you have found someone special, after being hurt badly, you learn to keep your guard up and not to trust so readily but there are some good one's out there. Hang in there!

And thanks for the compliment, it is appreciated.

[EvilEvilKitten]

You developed bi-polar disorder because the love of your life left you?!?!
And this other guy hates cheaters, ETC??
(please note the correct abbreviation, thank you.)

Sorry, but life is not fair, lovely, and stress-free. Nor it is brutal, disgusting, and pain-ridden. Life is merely life. HOW YOU HANDLE IT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE. You, and only you, are responsible for your reactions to what life throws at you.
Take your meds religiously. Practice stress-relief religiously. Strive to be rational at all times. Not having bi-polar disorder, I just go and get a stiff scotch, put my feet up, and reflect upon how this too shall pass.

unsettled has done her best to make her marriage work - all to no avail. So it is time for her to cut him loose and go find someone who is better for her.
Go to it, unsettled, and good luck!

[Smuggler]

Wow, this is a long thread..........

Remember one thing
Sex only last for a short time, Love will last forever.
If you LOVE your spouse, then you need to try and work it out.

I think back to my grandparents. I know they hadn't had sex for years (he had prostate surg), and they loved each other until my grandmother passed away....Then he still loved her until he died a year later...

Now, back to the thread topic......

I think it is possible to have a long affair provided that it is hidden.
You would need to space the meetings 4 to 6 weeks apart in order to keep it hidden.
Any closer time frame then you would risk the chance of being caught or slipping up.

Do I think it is wrong for you to cheat on your spouse? Yeah, I do.
However I do understand that we all have needs and each of us have a different level of needs.
If you put these needs on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the HIGHEST and 1 being the lowest, then I can say my need is a 10, while my wife's need is a 1 or 2.
It didn't always be that low, in the beginning of our marriage, she was a 5 or 6. However after a couple years, a little wieght gain (both of us), 2 kids and LONG work hours her need went to the low end of the scale.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Smuggler - try reading the thread.
She has already done more than sufficient to save her marriage if her husband had worked with her. But he hasn't so this marriage is over.

[Shyguy151]

well by now anyone who has read my responses probably thinks I am weird but I dont care. I have a similar case but it is not because I cant perform. I satisfy my wife sexually, but everyone likes variety. I have let another man have my wife before. I have even been in the house working on something or watching tv when they are having sex. He has come over and they have had sex while I have been at work also. I know my wife loves me and I love her and I knw she is not going to leave me. I like ti see her completely happy and she likes a little variety in her life also as does anybody. The man she sleeps with on the side and me are good friends and that hasnt changed at all since he started sleeping with her. I have watched on occasion and also participated. What I am getting at here is if your husband does not satisfy you in the least you need to be happy too so I see nothing wrong with keeping someone on the side for your pleasure,

[constantlylearning]

Are these situations isolated or more common than most imagine (the above
post's scenario)....??

[Yariome]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Smuggler - try reading the thread.
She has already done more than sufficient to save her marriage if her husband had worked with her. But he hasn't so this marriage is over.

I havn't even read all of this thread and I agree.

This just doesn't seem to work. I wish I could have sex 2-3x a week, my girl wants once a week and sometimes that is a struggle, and I do not regurarly masturbate and I will last anywhere from 30 min to 2 hours depending on her desire.

[constantlylearning]

I suppose each situation is different and should be viewed on their own circumstances.

[constantlylearning]

It is probably worth saying that ......... true love is priceless. That love is
like the first rainbow of spring ..........breathtaking and undescribable better
to simply be enjoyed and seen as opposed to being described. Does Love
just happen or is it planned? In the end, isn't it worth exhausting all to keep
it?