Wife wants me to change

[DarkOne12]

Hey all. I'm a newly wed for 6 months now and my wife and I have known each other for 10 years. During those 10 years she's known all about how sexual I am; I have a furry fetish, and also fantasies of slave/master ownership (i'm a dom), threesomes, I enjoy erotic stories, movies, etc. She is not very sexual in these senses but enjoys sex with me. That's fine.

The problem is that she became uncomfortable with me being into anything pornagraphic and asked me to stop. I did for 6 months (this is a year and a half before we were married) but ended up screwing up my promise and began looking again. She got furious, called me a cheater, and told me if I do this again its over.

Well so I dun look at it or at least I fight the urges to do what I used to do. This includes no more stories, movies, pictures, artwork, (hell, I shouldn't even be on this website)

Lately I've discovered that some of my close fem friends dun care about the stuff I'm into; they even like it as much as I do! We started talking and I kinda realized that I'm just a sexual person; not some addict like my wife accused me of. (I can live without it, but I miss it honestly)

So to qualm the urges, I would masturbate rarely (like once, twice a week) to my own little fantasies that I Cannot look at anymore. And I have begun writing eroticas in order to get my fantasies on paper and out of my system.

She wishes I didn't write the eroticas but she is letting me. She hates the fact I masturbated and we got into a huge fight with her basically calling me a cheater because I got off to "the images in my head". And it was just as bad if not worse that looking at the porn.

So I told her I won't do it anymore if she lightens up. When we were dating she'd go into porn stores, shope for toys for both of us, and even share/draw erotic art for me. Ever since I broke that one promise though, she doesn't even trust me to be home alone by my self.

I feel a bit repressed. I miss how open we used to be about this stuff and I miss being free. I kinda wonder if I would be happier with someone else who was into this as much as I but I love my wife to death and never wish to be away from her.

Is she over-reacting or am I? I just want to hear some opinions of others to help me understand. Thanks guys.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Your wife feels threatened by porn. This calls for counseling by a trained medical professional. She is too insecure for words and that is the issue that needs work. You aren't addicted to sex as masturbating just once or twice a week shows. That this happened this soon in the marriage hints at huge problems ahead - if this is not addressed now, it will only get worse, as her need for CONTROL grows in porportion to her insecurity.

[DarkOne12]

*nods slowly* I love and lust after her like no other; but I do have my fetishes and I do miss how sexual I used to be. She almost left me for the masturbation thing...or it seemed that way. Is this really her being self conscience?

She says I am not being true to our marriage vows for wanting to look and masturbate...am I really being selfish? She knew what I was like before we were married...she is the one who stopped getting into it "because I never knew how deep into it you were" is her reasoning...but I dunno...*sighs*

I love the advice...please keep it comming

[EvilEvilKitten]

Counseling, counseling, counseling - or it will be diminishing sex over the years until you are in a strictly sex-starved state and cheating on her IRL. Think about 20 to 30 years down the road.

[DarkOne12]

*nods* When we can afford it, we will. Hopefully it works out