No lust No passion, No sexual desire....for him

[tastesoexotic]

Hi, everyone I am 23 years old and have been in a long term relationship for over 6 years. I adore my boyfriend more than any words could possibly describe. The strength of my love for him amazes me sometimes, but (there's always a but) I have absolutely no desire for him what so ever. I dont fantasize about him. I never initiate sex, if he didnt initiate sex it would never happen except I know that it is not right to hold out on sex forever so I know I would initiate if a week went by, which never happens. We have sex all the time everyday or every other day.... and I cant stand it. I feel so ashamed to say that, but in my mind I hope we dont have sex, but I would never want him to be unattracted to me. At the same time I know that by now the sex has to be pretty lame and boring for him because, I am just not into it and, I could never fake it I am sure he would be able to discern that I am being false. I feel so bad for him and myself I cant possibly tell you how horrible it makes me feel that I cant give him the amazing sex we both deserve to have. He is so wonderful to me and deserves the best. I simply dont feel it for him. Although I can fantasize about sex for hours... it never ever involves him... I dont want to cheat, I really want to give myself to him and him alone but I dont see how I will be able to get this back... eventually he wont want me anymore because he will know that I dont really want him that way. Please help me

[dancingdoc2]

Sounds to me like downgrading your relationship to that of best friends would be prudent. You can still interact with each other to the extent that pleases and satisfies each of you, you just do not have the romance and intimacy part of it to manage.

[tastesoexotic]

but I love him as more than a friend, we have spent a long time together loving one another as one. To tell him I just want to be friends because of the sex seems a bit unfair to him and I

[LittleFury]

If you love him as much as you say, then you better have an honest talk. And after that see about talking to a professional. Also, if you're on a pill, you might want to talk to your doctor about maybe switching you to a different brand.
You have to do it. Otherwise, just think how unfair it will be for him to live out his life with a woman who does not want to be touched by him.

[EvilEvilKitten]

I love you but stay the hell away from me?!?!?

You should seek counseling to find out why you latch onto guys you do not desire. He should seek counseling to find out why he stays with a woman who only has sex out of a sense of 'duty'.

Face it, your life together is as interesting as a dead carp. Renewing your driver's license at the DMV should NOT be more exciting than your love life!

[suzysviews]

Here's a 2 cent counseling session for you

Ask yourself this ... and be really honest:

What would happen if you broke up? Are you still with him out of obligation? When you think about breaking up, does it always circle around to not being able to let him down or being afraid to be alone? Are the answers REAL or are they excuses?

[cyclefreak]

I could be barking up the wrong tree here, but maybe you are just having sex too often. It sounds like the expectation of sex is turning you off. Maybe you could try being more sensual with each other, without sex being the ultimate goal. By that I mean hugs and kisses, and exploring your sense of touch. Not as foreplay as a prelude to sex, but just for its own sake. Maybe that will help you to get more in touch with each other.

[browneyedgirl]

You guys need to communicate here! Discuss what you both want out of sex. It sounds as though neither of you are really satisfied at this point, and that's not a good situation to be in. What is it that you don't like about your sex? Has something changed? Has your lacking sex drive coincided with anything, like your boyfriend gaining a lot of weight or not taking you out to dinner anymore? Or has it coincided with you going on the Pill or another medication? You might want to talk to your doctor.

You really need to talk honestly with each other. How long has this been going on for? Was there ever a point where you did enjoy sex? What's changed since then? Is there something that you would like to do differently in the bedroom? A good conversation and total honesty are really needed here.

[EvilEvilKitten]

You could, in the interim, fantasize that it is some other when you are with him? Just until your counseling appointments come along.

[unknown11]

her is a thought. tell him he cant touch u for a week and see what that does for u