can't take it for too long

[sexy_angel]

hi,

just wondering... lately when my bf and I are having sex it usually starts out nice and i'll be enjoying it but then sthing always happens... like either it starts hurting - he'll be hitting the 'back wall', or i'll be getting dry, or i start getting a stitch (due to the bouncing up and down ) or i get the feeling i need to go to the loo (either to piss/**** - excuse any images i might cause!)...

anyway it usually ends up in either me asking him to stop or making an effort to keep going until he comes - so i don't ruin it for him so to speak.

does this happen to anyone else? is it me being paranoid or sthing?

i'm not one of those who particularly gets off through sex...get more into it through foreplay...although don't particularly get orgasms ....and no i dont masturbate... tried a couple of times to start off while in the bath but just find it weird.

any help/suggestions/opinions??

thanks!!!

[curly]

Originally Posted by sexy_angel

hi,

just wondering... lately when my bf and I are having sex it usually starts out nice and i'll be enjoying it but then sthing always happens... like either it starts hurting - he'll be hitting the 'back wall', or i'll be getting dry, or i start getting a stitch (due to the bouncing up and down ) or i get the feeling i need to go to the loo (either to piss/**** - excuse any images i might cause!)...

anyway it usually ends up in either me asking him to stop or making an effort to keep going until he comes - so i don't ruin it for him so to speak.

does this happen to anyone else? is it me being paranoid or sthing?

i'm not one of those who particularly gets off through sex...get more into it through foreplay...although don't particularly get orgasms ....and no i dont masturbate... tried a couple of times to start off while in the bath but just find it weird.

any help/suggestions/opinions??

thanks!!!

Try using more lube if you're getting dry. As for getting a stitch try different positions or just get in better shape. Thats all that I can help with.

[NizeGie]

I'm in a really bad position to advise, being entirely the wrong gender, but:

There seems to be a sort of urban legend (or at least urban exaggeration) that women all want to go as long as humanly possible, and men universally finsh too fast. In the real world, I think for most women there is a "long enough" and a "too long," both of which are indeed finite and reachable. One thing that makes it not so simple is that it could vary depending on mood, time of day, physical state or for no obvious reason at all.

I think it all comes down to communication, and additional getting used to each other (which really means getting so you communicate without even trying to).

Unless the guy is older, or is going for a second (or third!) round, he can probably finish up without going past your limit, if he knows that's what you'd prefer him to do. It might be a relief: he may well be making a big effort to draw things out!

If he can't finish timely (like if it is the second or third round), I don't think it's out of line for you to suggest finishing him off with your hand (or mouth, if you're so inclined).

[browneyedgirl]

Feeling like you need to pee is often a lead up to a G-spot orgasm. So, you might not necessarily have a problem with that. A good way to make sure that's what it is rather than actually needing to pee is to go to the bathroom BEFORE you start having sex. You should also keep some lube on hand, and then if you're feeling dry you can wetten up quickly. You could also look for some patterns. Does it end up hurting when you are in a certain position? Then try a different one!

If you feel like you need to stop, don't worry about it. Finish him off with a blowjob or try again later. He should be understanding.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Why do you find masturbating to be weird? Feeling like you need to urinate means you want to ejaculate - yes women do it too- so just let it go. He will NOT mind at all. Yes, it does indicate a G-Spot orgasm is on its way to rocking your world and rattling your bones. Hitting the back wall means the angle is wrong and you aren't aroused, he should be sliding under your cervix. Your vagina will lengthen with your arousal. Foreplay is nice but penetration and G-Spot orgasms is It.

More than anything else though - your post sounds to me like you have not given yourself permission to enjoy sex. For some reason in your heart of hearts, you do not seem comfortable letting yourself go.

[sexy_angel]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Why do you find masturbating to be weird? Feeling like you need to urinate means you want to ejaculate - yes women do it too- so just let it go. He will NOT mind at all. Yes, it does indicate a G-Spot orgasm is on its way to rocking your world and rattling your bones. Hitting the back wall means the angle is wrong and you aren't aroused, he should be sliding under your cervix. Your vagina will lengthen with your arousal. Foreplay is nice but penetration and G-Spot orgasms is It.

More than anything else though - your post sounds to me like you have not given yourself permission to enjoy sex. For some reason in your heart of hearts, you do not seem comfortable letting yourself go.

thanks for everyone's input. this last one especially seems to have struck sthing. never thought about it really but it could be the case. it's quite the rare occasion that i'm totally 100% of me there and enjoying it. a part of me always kind of feels like i'm doing sthing 'bad' - or worrying if sthing goes wrong (although we're very careful with protection - both pill and condom). I come from a catholic background so its kind of against our religion for sex before marriage - now i'm not a totally devout catholic or anything - but i think it still affects me, because deep down it feels like i'm doing sthing wrong - although it feels right with my bf. i guess it could also be another reason why i find masturbation weird - because its against how i was raised. i find it stimulating but not arousing if that makes sense. (plus having long nails limits what i can do without scratching myself hehe!!) anyway, feels like i'm babbling away now...i guess was just voicing my thoughts.

one last question... what do you mean by "Your vagina will lengthen with your arousal" ??

Thanks!!

[EvilEvilKitten]

When aroused, a woman's body undergoes certain changes that prepare her for intercourse. Normally the vagina just sits there minding its own business and then the hormones start flowing so the muscles loosen up and relax and this causes the vagina to lengthen back under the cervix.

It is often the case, what we , females esp, are taught when we are children sticks with us through later life. If you are taught from day one that sex = bed, you will tend to believe it. This can screw up your responses to sex later even after you are married, etc. This leads to the "lie back and think of England" type of sex. Your 'duty' instead of your 'pleasure'.

I suggest you read Tannahill's "History of Sex". Please check the spelling of the authoress.