10-07-2006, 11:42 AM
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Masterbation
I am having a hard time with this and I really don't know
what to do and honestly I am getting ready to break up with my boyfriend over this. I have talked before about how My boyfriend who is 24 and I who is 21 have both been losing weight. He thought that not only for health reasons but just so our sex life would be better also. He has dropped over 80 lbs and I have dropped over 100lbs. In the process of losing our weight he would look at porn and would masterbate and i understood because our sex life wasn't the best with both being over weight. Now that we are both smaller, he won't have sex. He says that he is too stressed and that he just doesn't feel like it. Then when i am out of the house; out with friends for a few hours, doing o.t at work. He will masterbate... I don't understand why. When we very very rarely have sex it's great and last forever and he says that he loves it and everything. Now i understand that some guys like having some fantesy in their lives and likes to masterbate every once in a while but we are talking 3-4 times a week with having sex with me maybe 1 time a month. This is not only making me sexually frustrated but it's also making me feel like i am just not good enough for him. That no matter what I do he will just not have sex. I try to spice things up- getting new outfits, new positions, talking dirty, offer to do anything and he just doesn't want it. I don't know if he is just addicted to porn, if that is even possible, but it's making me go crazy. I really don't know what to do. please any advice?  
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10-07-2006, 04:29 PM
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hmmm sound slike you have a really big problem here. so he isnt iterested in sex huh. well it could be because of a sex drive problem on his part but i think its may be because of your previous habits of just maturbating togehter he has become acustom to it and maybe he thinks its better. maybe taking away the porn will get him more into doing it with you and then the new habit will get him into you more then porn. i hope that helps so have fun with it
__________________
since im young all my muscles are soft except one thats always hard.
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10-08-2006, 11:33 AM
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Browser is correct on both matters. You require professional help with this. I have seen television programs deal with a similar situation in which only the woman looses the weight and her husband looses interest in her. The reason for this seems to be that he fell in love with who she was, not with who she has now become. In other words, with the physical aspect rather than the essential part, her brain, that he cannot see. Very often when one or more physical attributes change, so too does a man's stimulous. When breasts sag, when weight is shed, when extra pounds are added, when hair color radically changes, or a hairstyle changes after forty years, a man's perception of what he fell in love with turns off this libido. I am not suggesting that this is what has happened with the two of you, and this is why a professional evaluation should be next on your agenda.
It is very important that women understand why men desire climaxes by whatever means. The first is to relieve pent up stress that accumulates daily The second is for pure pleasure The third is as an expression for the love he has for his partner Women deal with stress differently than men and usually have many different outlets. It is a common misconception that if a guy masturbates, then "I" must not be satisfying him in bed. Nothing could be farther from the truth! Guys can have a wonderfully rewarding, happy, satisfying relationship with plenty of opportunities for expressing the love each has for the other, yet at the same time, have a frequent ongoing need to masturbate. The need comes from a continuous and ongoing process of accumulating stress and tension and finding a release for all of it. It is nothing personal and has no reflection or bearing on the quality or status of the couple's relationship. Of course, if there is trouble in the relationship, sex is often the first indicator. The first two reasons intensify and take on more significance for the guy, so, yes, masturbation often does substitute for what is missing in his love life. For the woman who knows she has a wonderful relationship with her man yet walks in to find him masturbating, I say this: Instead of raising havoc, becoming insecure, or, worrying that your relationship is in danger, I suggest doing either one or both of the following: * smile knowingly, excuse yourself and walk away * smile knowingly, and help him overcome his pent up level of stress by taking matters into your own hands so to speak If your guy tells you that he is under stress yet can still manage to masturbate or view porn, then something else is going on and that is what you need a professional to look into for you.
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10-09-2006, 09:28 PM
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Quote:
You need to be upfront about how you are feeling. Tell him that if he is not going to please you than your relationship could possibly die. Maybe that will wake him up a little.
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11-19-2006, 09:51 PM
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"New bodies. New self-images."
New problems. You two need counseling because something's going on and he is not communicating.
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