Victim part in relationship, what do i do?

[I_need_advice]

thanks for the replys it's ok. i get the picture. i'll just do something

[bruins76]

Your relationship sounds very young. The fact that you are talking about being around her parents... I just can't go there cause I've never had to experience that. I've been on my own since I was 14.

Why on earth would you want your girl to do anything in front of parents or anyone else? That's PDA...some people are into it, some people aren't...I am not that person. I don't mind the little kiss on the check or the lips when we see each other or a hug or holding of one's hand or arm around their neck when sitting on a couch, but to go beyond that just doesn't seem natural to me or to most ppl to be honest.

The fact that you have agreed on seeing each other a certain amount of times/dates during the week, if she broke the agreement w/ valid reasons then you need to back off a little, if she just blew you off, then dude, she's just not that into you.

If you require more in your relationship (physical, emotional) then you need to move on cause it doesn't sound like she's the "right gal" for you.

Then again, you two are VERY young so I am not sure you are even looking at "the one" or stuff long term here. It's highly unlikely at your age to find the one & stay w/ them forever. I don't mean to sound mean, but it's true. I was there, BTDT...

Have a heart to heart talk w/ her & see what she says, if she can't meet you half way & give you what you want/need then you know what steps to take.

HIH, GL

[dancingdoc2]

I completely agree.
Have a look around the neighborhood, mall, or your school, there are plenty of people who are of the opposite gender. That world-wide, women outnumber men, then we stand a pretty good chance of finding someone. Add to this that there are several people with whom we can be a match.

The following recommendation has been posted on the Board many times by me and it is one I believe kids nowadays completely side-step. I believe that for the next few years you should concentrate on dating lots of people in order to sample what humanity has to offer. You need to hone social skills and be exposed to many different characters, likes, dislikes, quirks, goals, etc., so that when the time does come to narrow the playing field and to begin focusing on one person you will be better able to make a wise choice. So, do not stop dating with the first warm body who expresses an interest in you. You are limiting your development and your exposure and increasing the chances for making a wrong selection.

Furthermore, if you do not enter into any exclusive relationships for a while, you eliminate all the drama and trauma that are inherent in early relationships. Both of you have some maturing to do; dating lots of other people will help with this as will becoming older and wiser as a result of further mental and emotional development that comes from "mileage". Even though a person's body has matured and is capable of adult pleasures and reproduction, a person's mental development that includes social skills, social development, being able to predict the consequences of our actions, all take time to acquire. A person does not fully make the transition to adulthood until sometime during the 21st year.

Considering that some of us are early and some are late bloomers, and that we all have different family and social dynamics, you can see why maturity levels vary all throughout the teen years.

When you date lots of people you will have the potential for more "dates", and you will develop more friendships, and, learn how to interact with others better. By not having any exclusive one-on-one relationships for a few years, you reduce or eliminate all the tug of war interplaying dynamics that accompany these early involvements while at the same time giving yourself time to mature and develop further in these other areas. You certainly do not want to be viewed by others as being "socially arrested".

I understand the need to be needed and to connect with someone special yet to a great extent this is hormonally driven. Please understand this as well as what I am saying about not being fully mature for several more years. Mother Nature plays a mean trick on us by developing our bodies, first, before our head. In olden days when people did not live long this was probably a necessity, nowadays it is a hinderence. Anyway, I hope you will begin dating lots of different girls because doing so is a win-win situation for all concerned. Just expect that you will find along the way that there will be some that you will not want to date again, and, some you will want to go out on more than one date, and a few keepers who you will want to date regularly and learn more about by developing deeper friendships.

Here is a link to a thread from a few days ago. Please read my reply.

http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/dati...tml#post153890

[bruins76]

ITA w/ the above poster...

To add to this I'd like to give you an example of the drama w/ an early relationship in your life.

I had "many" relationships when I was younger that I thought "oh...this is it, this is the one"... at the time you couldn't tell me any different, I would have said to you "nope, this is the one, it's true love"... and I would have been angry at your comment. Today looking back, wow, was I dumb...not only were these men NOT "the one" but I was forcing drama on myself that was NOT needed. I should have spent more time enjoying my early years, education etc., not trying to settle down cause I know I would have ended up in an different place.

Not to say that I am not happy w/ my end results at this time, for the most part I am, but I guess after all is said & done, I wish I would have let the "serious" relationships go & enjoyed my youth.

You have PLENTY of time to find "the one" that you will connect w/ on so many levels, to try & force it now isn't worth it.

ITA that it's nice to be needed, to have someone to care about cause the thought of being alone sucks...but let's be honest here, would you rather be w/ someone you don't have anything in common w/ who has different wants/desires just cause you fear of being alone or would you rather be alone & happy knowing that you are not wasting your time.

Had you asked me that ? 10 year's ago I would have rather been w/ someone instead of being alone, even if it was at a cost emotionally that I didn't like. Today I find that life is way to precious to waste it on someone that is not worth my energy.

Dating a lot of different people (safely of course) is the best way, you get to know ppl, make friends, figure out who you are, and in the mean time have fun, why rush?