going insane,need satisfaction

[papurdawl]

I've posted a thread like this before, but the problem hasnt been resolved. I'm tired of having sex 2-3 times a month, its driving me insane. I've tried to talk about it with my fiancee, but everytime he ignores the subject. Recently we got in a fight about it, he said that us talking about it makes him want to have sex with me less because im making him feel like hes not good enough. I tried to make him understand that the point in me telling him was to fix the problem the first time i brought the issue up, not to continue to ignore the problem and rub it in your face. I dont know what to do. I know hes stressed from work and all the relationship stress thats been going on, but after a year of not having enough sex im going insane. I need satisfaction, i dont want to cheat on him and i really dont want to use toys, i want him. it makes me so depressed and makes me feel horrible about myself and myself worth. I'm young,21 and attractive, i look the same as the day he met me, i havent stoped taking care of myself in the same way. i still get dressed up for him and make myself look good. i try to come on to him and touch him and we kiss and then if i dont take his clothes off thats the end of it. i've tried the whole naughty nurse bad police officer thing also. I'm so lost i just want to feel good again, in more ways than one. One of the reasons we fight so much is because i dont feel good enough about myself b/c of the lack of sex, he just doesnt understand... please help

[Brandye]

Without professional intervention, the situation will not improve. Give him a choice between marital counselling and finding a different fiance. If it is this way at 21, imagina at thirty when you are at your peak and he is beyond his.

[WallyLlama]

Ditto what Brandye said... and adding that there is clearly more involved here than him being unwilling or unable to provide you with enough sex... as you have said, you want to feel good again, in more ways than one. I'm betting he does too (he sorta told you that). Professional intervention will help you both see that you are in this together; both contributing and hopefully help you both share the problem and the solution.

[BigKahuna]

Your situation is one of the strongest arguments for non monogamous (sp?) relationships... Coupling down forever is simply not natural... and the only guarantee they bring is that you both will both be sacrificing what you each want in life for each other...

I don't want someone else, nor toys, you want him...

This isn't true because you aren't happy with him the way he is. You want him to match a picture in your head of what he is supposed to be.

I still make myself look good for him...

Looks aren't anywhere near as important as you think they are... or should i say, as important as you have been taught to believe.

Because i like sex too... i can relate... or at least i thought i could...

One of the reasons we fight so much is because i dont feel good enough about myself b/c of the lack of sex, he just doesnt understand..

Lets look at the inverse... perhaps it is you that don't understand... You want to have sex because you want to feel better about yourself... As much as i like sex, I wouldn't want to have sex with you either. You appear to be an energy vulture...

If you don't feel good about yourself... that is something that makes you VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY unattractive to guys who aren't in the same boat. Consequently, having sex with you is probably a draining experience to him, and has resulted in the loss of desire for you.

Forget about sex... figure out why you so desperatly need attention... Once you figure that out, you can stop trying to drain him... and he may rekindle his sexual attraction for you...

[star49gp]

u say that you guys start kissing and if you don't take his clothes off you don't get sex. So why wouldn't you just take off his clothes??? If you want more sex just take off his clothes or when he gets out of the shower don't let him get dressed. Just thoughts.

[ua322]

Originally Posted by papurdawl

I've posted a thread like this before, but the problem hasnt been resolved. I'm tired of having sex 2-3 times a month, its driving me insane. I've tried to talk about it with my fiancee, but everytime he ignores the subject. Recently we got in a fight about it, he said that us talking about it makes him want to have sex with me less because im making him feel like hes not good enough. I tried to make him understand that the point in me telling him was to fix the problem the first time i brought the issue up, not to continue to ignore the problem and rub it in your face. I dont know what to do. I know hes stressed from work and all the relationship stress thats been going on, but after a year of not having enough sex im going insane. I need satisfaction, i dont want to cheat on him and i really dont want to use toys, i want him. it makes me so depressed and makes me feel horrible about myself and myself worth. I'm young,21 and attractive, i look the same as the day he met me, i havent stoped taking care of myself in the same way. i still get dressed up for him and make myself look good. i try to come on to him and touch him and we kiss and then if i dont take his clothes off thats the end of it. i've tried the whole naughty nurse bad police officer thing also. I'm so lost i just want to feel good again, in more ways than one. One of the reasons we fight so much is because i dont feel good enough about myself b/c of the lack of sex, he just doesnt understand... please help

I would seriously consider breaking up. Seriously. I think sex is just ONE of your problems as a couple and I'm not completely sure that you, personally, are prepared for marriage.

DO NOT GET MARRIED UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES. IT WILL END UP IN DIVORCE.

[Fluffer]

Amen to that.