Domination Play?

[Jill B]

In my continuing effort to keep things HOT for hubby, I've suggested a little domination play. I asked if he wanted to be dominated or dominate me for a day. He wants to dominate me, which is fine. BUT as we embark on this new aspect of our sex life, I would appreciate some guidelines. What types of rules might a couple keep in mind? What elements might make it better?

[sexyand17]

ummm i would definitly imply a "safe word" just in case something isnt to your likeing. something simple like..........bannana or something like that its your call. anyways ya and maybe go to a stor and ask what would be good for that kinda of play so you get an expert opinion

[WallyLlama]

Recognize that there are many levels of domination... and don't be afraid to explore them. We typically think "whips and chains and handcuffs" but there are gentler and more subtle forms...

Include an acknowledgement between you (and keep it in the forefront) that any form of "play" is really about trust and sharing. It isn't just "hot" because one of you is tied up (or whatever). It's hot because of the sharing, trust, and intimacy.

Explore and research together. Don't get caught by the media image. Remember that you are "playing" in a very real sense and agree to stop or to play differently when one of you wants. That goes beyond the safe word (good idea) to not relying on a form of play to keep things hot.

[HotWife]

I would suggest having a few drinks and a good long hot conversation about it one night, before actually acting these out. That way both of you hear what the other has in mind and thinks is hot. If you keep the conversation light and playful, either of you should feel comfortable letting the other know when something isn't such a turn on.

[Jill B]

Thanks for the ideas. Of course, now I'm not so inclined to play along with what he wants. He's joined another one of those "adult friend finder" sites and advertises he is looking for sex. I'm preparing for the third confrontation with him about this and his porn addiction. Oh well.........

[Want_to_be _better]

I just started reading S&M 101 and while a little dry at times it does help with setting ground rules and how to decide what a good safe word is. It advances to knot tying and more.

[star49gp]

Originally Posted by Jill B

Thanks for the ideas. Of course, now I'm not so inclined to play along with what he wants. He's joined another one of those "adult friend finder" sites and advertises he is looking for sex. I'm preparing for the third confrontation with him about this and his porn addiction. Oh well.........

I hear ya, my husband loves his porn which is fine. But the adult friend finder been there done that and all the power to ya. It took 5 years of that crap off and on to make him understand that it hurts my feelings and makes me not want to sleep with you if you have the thought of sleeping with someone else. Good luck!!

[ua322]

Originally Posted by Jill B

Thanks for the ideas. Of course, now I'm not so inclined to play along with what he wants. He's joined another one of those "adult friend finder" sites and advertises he is looking for sex. I'm preparing for the third confrontation with him about this and his porn addiction. Oh well.........

Holy crap. Good luck with that.

If you've busted him previously and he keeps pursuing this, I would assume that he has already cheated by now.