Nothing to do with sex..but

[youfool]

Ok, I really dunno if this is the right section, but I saw long term and just thought maybe here..anyways!

Pretty much here it all is, my boyfriend is going to work on the road, for at the most two months at a time. I think its complete bull **** and it pisses me off soo much. I Love him with all my heart and I cant bare to be without him for that long! He went on the road for a week about a month ago and was lost. He came back and I felt like we just started dating again. Im just so afraid that hes going to leave and come back and be different, like not the man I love. I've hinted that I hate the situation, but its his life I dont want to say no..but its his job ya know?

[open to ideas]

Well my boy is in the Air Force and i posted something on that awhile ago about coping with it if you decide to stay with that kind of relation. But I believe you should be able to just tell him that it kills you for him to be away and discuses it with him. I always find it better to get things on the table because it will come out eventually and the sooner the better.

here is the link to copeing with long distance http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/143823-post6.html

It has good information even if it is not exactly your situation.

[Browser]

Communicate and try not to worry.

[bruins76]

Im just so afraid that hes going to leave and come back and be different, like not the man I love. I've hinted that I hate the situation, but its his life I dont want to say no..but its his job ya know?

First off if you guys have a strong relationship, communicate a lot and talk to one another daily regardless of him being not around, you shouldn't worry that thing's will be different at all. If they are and he is distant and it ends...the relationship wasn't strong enough to begin with to last & separation isn't the reason, cause it would have ended on it's own w/ out him leaving. It sound's like you haven't been together for that long, or maybe I'm wrong but if you take thing's 1 day at a time & you communicate you will be fine.

As far as telling him no for his job, if you want him to run for the hill's or leave you go ahead...it's his job, he CHOSE this profession willingly and is continuing it on his own will. So unless he wants to choose another job b/c of his own reasons I wouldn't say a word. My man is on-call a lot and sometime's I don't see him for week's at a time and we have kid's together, do you think it's easy for me/us as a family? Heck no... but we talk multiple times during the day & make the most of our time when he is home.
It hasn't been easy on me and sometime's I resent that I am the one who does everything at home w/ cleaning, the kids AND I work too. A lot of personal responsibility on my plate and we have a 4 mos old w/ special needs that requires multiple doctor's apt's every week, that's difficult in itself.

What I am trying to say is that there are times that I get angry, take it out on him, tell him "it would be nice if you were home to see your kids" etc....and we usually fight and then make up quickly b/c he sees that I am lonely & miss his company & help and I see that it's his job & he is making money & getting us a house & better life. It goes both ways but in the end we see how much we both contribute to our lives/family and although it's not perfect, I don't know who's relationship is.

HIH & GL
~C

[dancingdoc2]

> my boyfriend is going to work on the road, for at the most two months at a time. I think its complete bull **** and it pisses me off soo much.

Is it the job?
Was the choice to travel made before or after your relationship began?

> I Love him with all my heart and I cant bare to be without him for that long!

How would you feel if he was in the service and had to be away from home for an extended period of time?

> He went on the road for a week about a month ago and was lost. He came back and I felt like we just started dating again.

As has been discussed, communication is very important. You do not have to talk every day, although certainly every couple of days is important to maintaining continuity. Were the two of you doing this? If so, then you must not have been talking about all the right things for the "start over" feelings to be apparent.

> Im just so afraid that hes going to leave and come back and be different, like not the man I love.

And what about if was away for over a year in the service? Regardless, each of you will be exposed to different events yet if you share then there will be continuity. That he might go away and come back with a changed persona is just your insecurities making themselves known. The two of you should be in the relationship out of choice; therefore if he wants to continue the relationship it will be by his choice. If not, then it will be doomed to failure whether or not he is on the road or not.

> I've hinted that I hate the situation, but its his life I dont want to say no..but its his job ya know?

So, please tell us more about his job and why you are unhappy with the situation. Does he have other options and if so what?

All things being equal, I think you have to have more confidence in him and in your relationship. If you continue this path then you are likely to be the relationship's worst enemy, not so much him.

[star49gp]

Well I kind of agree with how it would make you mad and how you feel lost. My husband isn't out of town very often but I miss him very much when he is gone. You should just tell him how you feel and see where that goes. And as for him changing if you and him are meant to be then everything will work out. But just relax and set up a phone schedule or something so that you can talk to him when he is on the road. and the sex when he gets back well you'll see. lOl