Ever tried this?

[Moe]

My wife and I have been married about 4 years and recently had a child about 6 months ago. Like a lot of married couples, our sex life has decreased over time. She goes out with her girlfriends and they all rationalize the decrease by saying that everyone who is married has sex, on average, once a week. Fine for them - not fine for me. I am also a night owl, so when I am ready to go at 11:00 pm, my wife is already shutting her eyes and implying she wants to go to sleep.

We also communicate pretty well on most issues; however, I do not think she is all that comfortable talking about sex with males - even her husband. She just was not raised that way.

Here is my idea - I was thinking about waiting for a moment when the child is asleep, and just dragging her off to the bedroom and doing what I basically want with and to her. No questions asked or answered - I'll suffer no voices of protest (within reason). However, I will let her know that all is fair - oral, anal, rimming, facial, etc. I have a hunch that, as we take on new roles as parents, we are missing that we are sexual creatures as well.

My question to you is - has anyone ever tried this with you? Did you like it or did you cry rape?

[fire1041]

I think your on to something. I dont know about the anal thing though, unless this is something you do already. My wife tells me she likes it when I just take her in an animalistic , no excuses, caveman kinda way. Up against the wall, so to speak. Though ,we dont have kids. The kitchen always works the best. I wait for her to do dishes or something near the sink, then I come up behind her , press into her , and kiss her neck. Slide down the pant or shorts or whatever, and "caveman" away.!!!!

[fireblaze14]

im not married yet but i can say that i love it the way the other fire is talking...oooo....i gives me the shivers.... dont be too aggressive as in mean though and yes anal can only be done that way if you do it already... if my boyfriend told me he was going to do that, with no arguments he would be out!!!!no arguments!

[dancingdoc2]

> he kitchen always works the best. I wait for her to do dishes or something near the sink,

Waiting for her to begin doing the dishes?

If you gents want to romance your woman, then you do the dishes, and the laundry and take out the garbage, and whatever else needs to be done and let her relax for a little while before you cart her off over your shoulder. Women think these "chores" done by their man to be the stuff of love. Put the baby to bed and you should find her much more receptive.

[chris13]

Originally Posted by Moe

and just dragging her off to the bedroom and doing what I basically want with and to her. No questions asked or answered - I'll suffer no voices of protest (within reason)

heh..not gonna happen dude. Your wife must be "into" all these things
before they actually happen. It took me years of "working" with my SO
to get to the rimming and anal sex. You can't force your wants on
the unwanted...

[LittleFury]

You better make sure that she likes all of that stuff and would not mind you dragging her off and doing it without giving her a chance to say no. Otherwise, you sleeping on the couch might be the least of your problems.

[WallyLlama]

Yep... if you have to ask what other's think, it's probably not a great idea.

A "non-sexual" conversation about it might be... and, as described in some of the replies, there are degrees of "taking charge" and demonstrating your desire. You might be better off, by the way, considering the idea of dragging her off to the bedroom and doing what she wants to her...

[bruins76]

We have 3 kids, our youngest is almost 4 mos., sex DOES decrease w/ kids, sorry to burst your bubble. As a mother/parent you are exhausted since most of the work w/ the kids fall's on us mommies' laps and at the end of the day the last thing they want is to have sex.

Now...if it were up to me (and I am VERY off from other gals) I'd have sex daily but my DH is always tired (work's on-call all the time & is exhausted)...although I am tired w/ the kids I'd always find a moment if I could, he is the other way though.

If you are getting it 1 time a week...consider yourself a lucky man...

You can try your "ideas" but she may just freak or pull away. I'd ask you this, are you giving her help around the house? helping w/ the kids? and w/ out her asking you to do the extra help? helping w/ the kids, laundry, dishes, cooking, trash....is a way to a woman's heart, it's foreplay for us. So if you aren't doing these thing's already, I'd say START...I can almost 99.9 guarantee that it will work great!

GL, HIH
~C

[dancingdoc2]

Thanks for the confirmation, Bruins76. This doggie did learn a thing or two growing up but it took my wife some time and effort to "learn me" how to recognize what needed to be done, when, and then how to manage things when there was more than one thing to do. Now we share household responsibilities and pitch in whenever to help each other. Gone are the days in which I practiced what I was taught growing up that the husband's responsibility was outside the house like the yard, garden, and home maintenance; and, the wife's responsibility was the inside. It never entered my mind until the axe came down one evening that just because we lived in an apartment and there were no outside chores to do that I should get off scot free. It never entered my brain that because we both worked my wife still had sole custody around the house while I would only help when asked. Oh, sure, I knew how to vacuum, dust, wash windows, take out the trash, and even cook two or three things, but I had never been taught how to manage these things on my own--or, to recognize when a chore needed attending to. Mom always delegated the chores. Boy did I ever get a wake up call. Now, years later, all this is water under the bridge as we work as a team for whatever the work there is to be done. As the saying goes: "ain't nobody happy if Mama ain't happy!" Well I'm here to tell you that she is happy and by sharing household responsibilities and recognizing what needs to be done and just doing them, we both have more time for each other and are less stressed and tired.

If there is a hint in all this, guys, better take it.

[bruins76]

That's AWESOME that you recognize that. I have the issue at my home in that my DH doesn't do anything unless I ask him to do it and I have to ask him, even though he knows it's his chore (taking out the trash, replacing the trash w/a new bag & doing the groceries) aside from taht, he does NOTHING...and BTW, not only do I take care of 3 boys...I work from home and contribute more to the bills than he does, BUT he make's more $ than me. Let's just say I get VERY annoyed at times.

He is VERY capable of doing things since he is a Marine and I know they made him press his clothes, do his laundry, clean his bunk etc., he's no dummy...but he acts like one. The real pisser is that he'll work and call me at 7pm (when I am giving the kid's a bath and feeding the new baby) and he'll say "can you make me lunch?" as if I have so much spare time on my hands at the moment. GIve me a break! I don't make his lunch anymore, not cause I am tryikng to be mean but I don't have the time, period. So now he does it...plus the guy works out b4 and after work, if he has time to do those things he can make his damn lunch, KWIM?

Good for you for putting that out there. I REALLY appreciate your comment/post as I feel that most men DON'T get it. I thank you!

~C