Confused about my 3 yr relationship

[Beatrix]

I'm only 21 years old, and my boyfriend is about a month younger than me. We've been dating for just over 3 years, and I find that more often than not I'm wishing to be away from him, or with someone else (nobody in particular)... and I don't know why. He's my best friend. He's a great guy. He's cute (although sometimes I think either I'm not very attracted to him, or else I have a REALLY low sex drive). But for some reason I feel like I wish I was single again. Then, when I think about being single and not being with him, I get upset. I can't make up my mind. I've talked to him and other people about this before and my first conclusion was that I'm just not very touchy/cuddly, and because of that I'm pushing him away... after I came to that conclusion I felt MUCH better and we were really close... but it only lasted about three days.

I thought maybe it was because he seemed really immature to me as we dated. I had to cook for him, clean, drive him places, go with him to the doctor cause he's scared... sometimes I felt more like a mother. And sometimes his anger is simply unbearable and makes me upset... he's never angry at me, just the rest of the world. I told him this and lately he's learned how to cook, and he cleans more, and he's even driving himself or getting other people to take him places. It feels much better not having to take care of him, but I want to know why I still sometimes just want to be away from him.

My parents just broke up, and although I have felt this way about my boyfriend before that, recently I've looked at their failure at marriage and I've really started to worry that these feelings I have mean that my boyfriend and I won't work out. We have such wonderful dreams about growing old together and having kids, and sometimes I'm obsessed with those dreams and can't wait for the future, but other times I can't even stand the thought of marrying him.

Is this just mood-swings or the restless mind of a 21 year old? Is this normal for relationships, to go one way and then the other? I know ups and downs are normal but I'm not sure about this extreme. I get pushed away sometimes when he comes on to me too strongly -- does it mean I just have a low sex drive? But then other times I'll see a cute guy, usually someone older who I view as very manly, and I can't stop thinking about THEM. So that makes me think my sex drive isn't low but that something just isn't right.

I'm not looking for any definite answers... I think I can only answer this for myself... but I'd really like to talk this through with someone... so that's why I'm here.

If you have any more questions feel free to ask. Thanks.

[Browser]

Talk to him.

Relationships are a two-way street when they work.

[Beatrix]

I have been talking to him. With every change of heart I have, he knows. We're both confused. He was just in here crying. Neither of us knows what to do. We love each other, but sometimes we can't stand each other. I just think that sometimes I can't stand him a little more often than he can't stand me. But then when he cries like that its really painful to see. He's my best friend and, as friends, we get along great.