Help with spicing up sex life.

[Purplestarorb]

My husband and I have been married almost 3 years. We have a 1 year old little boy. My problem is that I am scared to try new positions and things like that. We do the same position almost all the time with little variance. We have a couple of toys that we use and a game, but I'm not up to trying the game yet. Is there any way to get over being scared over certain things? I hope I'm making sense. How do I get over my insecurities and help my sex life get better?

[Browser]

Try talking to hm?

[Purplestarorb]

We talk about it but then I chicken out with what we were planning on. He is very supportive but I can tell he's at his wits end with me.

[Browser]

Well, I've never been one for letting nerves get to me, but I'd say just take the plunge. Pull out a toy and start playing with it when you two are about to start. Start off a night with a different position. You can talk about it for as long as you want, but eventually you have to actually do something.

[wtfhappened]

I dont know. i try different positions with my wife and she's not into it all. Were down to two positions now .....sometimes three but rarely, where before marriage it was anything goes. I dont know what it is with woman after marriage..LOL. I suggest stuff and I just get the look or a grumbling about it. She use to also get dressed up for me but now thats out of the question for sure. Its funny cause the last time she put on a sexy outfit was the day before our wedding Oh well guess I join the statistics.

[Jake]

My wife is the same way. I think she is more embarresed to do these things than anything. I sure don't see the reason for that. She and you should feel comfortable with your husbands trying anything in the privacy of your own home.But then what the hell do I know I can't solve my own problems.

[wtfhappened]

Originally Posted by Jake

My wife is the same way. I think she is more embarresed to do these things than anything. I sure don't see the reason for that. She and you should feel comfortable with your husbands trying anything in the privacy of your own home.But then what the hell do I know I can't solve my own problems.

Exactly! Why should my wife be embarassed about trying a different position with her own husband? Besides Im not asking her to do anything really crazy. Example after she finishes after being on top I'll ask her to get on all fours. You can tell she doesnt want to...sometimes she grumbles and just doesnt seem to be into it. It would be nice if she even faked that she enjoyed it But again before marriage we did every position. 69, spoon'n, standing up etc. it was awesome. No way in hell can I even suggest that stuff anymore. And man do i miss those days of 69'n or even just sit'n on my face which I suggested this weekend, and got a down right NO!

[WallyLlama]

Trying to change someone else is always going to be a challenge... about the best you can do is try to figure out what your contribution is and eliminate it, then do a lot of talkin' and and a lot of lovin'.

The original poster wants to change herself. Much more do-able, really. I think part of the answer here is that you are going to have to figure out exactly what you are afraid of and deal with it. There is something in your thinking that is creating that fear -- emotions stem from thoughts.

You mention "insecurities." Sometimes emotions make sense; sometimes they don't. Sometimes they are the result of "habit" -- you expect to feel a certain way and do!

Make sure Hubby is aware of your desire to change. Hopefully he can help you feel more secure and adventuresome.