Not satisfied, how do your tell your spouse?

[Jacoba]

She has a problem with oral sex and reciprocating. She will perform but not to completion she will stop short of my orgasm and just jack me off, totally killing it for me.

When I perform on her I stay with it all the way to the very end of her orgasm and she loves it, she tells me she is very satisfied with our sex life but I feel unsatisfied 75% of the time.

I love everything about her, her smell, her taste and all her juices when she cums.

She says she gags when the smallest amount of my cum gets anywhere near her mouth and this topic has been the point of several arguments and she usually brakes down crying over it everytime we try to talk about it.

How can I help her?

[Jaysey]

So...her whole problem is with the gagging? And the gagging is coming from...what? The presence of the cum in her mouth, or the taste of it, or just the thought that it is in fact cum and it is in her mouth??

Most women who have a problem with it, I think, have a problem with the taste. For your part, you might want to try eating citrus-y foods prior to receiving oral sex--as they tend to reduce the "bad" flavor. Also, drinking lots of juice can help. Finally, try not to have her do it when you've got a "full load," if you know what I mean. That way, there's less cum, which makes it a little easier to handle.
There are several different things you might encourage her to try:
1) Suck on a Tic Tacs prior to giving oral sex
2) Brush teeth prior to oral sex
3) Deep-throat right before orgasm (so the cum hits the back of the throat)
4) Condoms (flavored, esp.)
4) Suck on cinnamon flavored candy or chew cinnamon flavored gum (really, anything with a strong taste will do the trick--lots of people use Altoids)

This may or may not help.

As far as saying something to her, just tell her that it really turns you on when she gives you oral, and nothing would be better than to have her finish you off that way. Then tell her you've been doing some research, and why don't we try ______.

Also, I know she says it's the gagging thing, but...while she's doing it, be sure to give her plenty of feedback: "MMM....that's feels so good, oh baby, don't stop, etc." In my experience, a lot of times, women feel that they can't get men off by oral alone (usually because it can take longer for men to orgasm this way than by intercourse). Thus, women mistakenly feel like they aren't pleasuring you enough. So...be sure to make it clear!
Good luck!

[Jacoba]

I think it has to do with the taste and texture of my cum, at least how she says it.

I don't care if she swallows it or not, although that would definitely be a huge-huge turn on for me, but all I actually want is for her to let me cum in her mouth and I've explained to her that she can push it back out, let it come out of her mouth naturally or spit after I'm finished cumming.

She has done it completely one time and it felt awesome, the best orgasm I've ever had hands down and she tried to swallow as I came but couldn't and she said she almost puked.

The next time she tried I started to cum in her mouth and she immediately quit and spit everything out and just gave up completely not even finishing me with her hand, a real moment killer.

I really don't know what to do at this point, I feel as if I'm giving 150% to her doing everything I can to satisfy her sexually and she is giving only 75%.

I know she is having problems but I fell like with practice she could over come her hang up, can't she?

[Jaysey]

Practice does make perfect! Again, I say tell her delicately, and try some of the above to help her get over the taste/texture. The juice and citrus-y foods are supposed to help with the texture and the taste. In addition, something like an Altoid will help the taste, and from what I understand, it feels pretty good for you, too. You just need to be patient with her.

[Jacoba]

Am I actually asking too much for my wife to perform this one act for me?

I’m not willing to force her or issue an ultimatum for this one sexual deed, but I keep asking myself if its affecting me to the point where we end up discussing it about once a month to no avail if at some point it will become a much much bigger problem.

I feel like we can work thru it but its almost like she just talks her way thru the discussions then sticks her head in the sand hoping it will go away until next time.

Depressed…

[Browser]

If she can't handle cum, then wear a condom. That way she doesn't have to taste you and you get to finish.

[wtfhappened]

yeah but usually the taste of a condom is not so pleasant either. Even the flavor ones suck according to my wife

[Browser]

It depends on the individual. If it doesn't make her want to puke, it's an improvement over ejaculating in her mouth.

You have to experiment and communicate. Too much of sex is based on the individual - there's no magic formula for orgasms or instant pleasure. You just have to be willing to give it a try. Remember, use protection and communicate about what you like and dislike. In the end, it'll make a huge difference in the quality of your sex, if not the relationship itself.

[WallyLlama]

Originally Posted by Jacoba

Am I actually asking too much for my wife to perform this one act for me?

I’m not willing to force her or issue an ultimatum for this one sexual deed, but I keep asking myself if its affecting me to the point where we end up discussing it about once a month to no avail if at some point it will become a much much bigger problem.

I feel like we can work thru it but its almost like she just talks her way thru the discussions then sticks her head in the sand hoping it will go away until next time.

Depressed…

I'm admittedly a little crabby this morning... but since you asked, the answer to your first question in this post is "Probably." Contrary to the rhetoric of most of what follows in your post, I'd say that you are not only expecting too much; now you are going to make yourself depressed over it.

You say you think you can work your way through this, but what that really sounds like is you think you can talk her into doing what you want her to do. If it becomes a bigger problem, it will be because you make it one.

Lots of guys make it through life with every getting oral in any form. You are, effectively, forcing her and giving her an ultimately by continuing to make it the only thing that matters.

As for you giving 150% and she 75%, picture a post on here: "My husband is great except for one thing - he's obsessed with cumming in my mouth. I've tried some different things but he's just not happy with it. I've tried... I feel like I'm giving 150% but it's not enough. I just wish he'd make the effort to be happy with me... Is that too much to ask?"

[bruins76]

Okay..I am "the exception here" I swallow my man's cum all the time when I perform oral on him...but let me be honest, it's gross...I do gag and I want to barf...I am VERY good at hiding it. THe ONLY time I couldn't do it is the first trimester of my pregnancy cause I was sick to my stomach all the time and thought made me want to barf and I wasn't good at concealing it.

Giving oral sex to a guy doesn't have to come w/ the rule of swallowing your man's semen..sorry...and the fact that YOU have a problem w/ that, well...you are up there w/ a lot of men. Not many gal's do that, be glad your wife is willing to even give you oral...most men don't even get that!

Now I am not saying you don't have the right to "want" or "desire" that...but just cause you want something doesn't mean that it's needed. You are still getting off right? Just cause you like her taste doesn't mean she wants yours in her mouth. ANd sorry but a gal's cum is much more different than a mans...we don't shoot out this eggwhite, mucousy thick stuff...that's just gross...and to have that in your mouth is an automatic refelex to gag.

I say be happy that she is trying to give you oral the best way she knows how...if she doesn't want to swallow...that's too bad. It's not a crime or a rule. Have you ever tasted a full mouth load of cum before? If the answer is yes and you loved/liked it...then I guess you can speak for yourself. If the answer is no (and I am sure that it is) how can you be so demanding on what you want her to do w/ your cum?

Good luck to you
~C