Only 1 man, need advise

[lyn]

I am 42, have been married for 25 years, and my husband is the only one I have ever slept with. Lately I have been having fantasies and have been wondering what it would be like to have sex with another man. I think about it a lot. I told my husband and he said go ahead and do it, get it out of your system. After this many years, my conscious says don't do it, but I can't seem to let this go. I feel like I have missed one of lifes important experiences. I guess I imagine the sex would be very different.

Thinking about doing it.

[MrDinan]

There are threads about this already, use the search for future reference. I can tell you from spectating the other threads, that your marriage will be on the rocks and by you going ahead and doing so, will be jeopardizing your marriage. I hope you make the right choice. In my view, it'd be an honor to be noble enough to say, "I've only had sex with one man, that's how dedicated I am." It's common to feel that way, as I've only had sex with my girlfriend. I want that experience as well, but losing her is not a option for my selfish desires. After thinking about it that way, the desire to do it disappears, but I guess it's different for everyone.

[Browser]

One word of advise for you:

Don't.

[?wiseman?]

Welcome, lyn, and congratulations on your 25-yrs. I, personally, have #22 coming up soon.

25 years is quite an investment in a relationship and what you're experiencing isn't unusual. But what do you hope to accomplish? You just want to scratch an itch? Fantasies are an important part of a relationship. Both as an individual and as partners. But how we act out those fantasies can have positive results in our relationships . . . or devastating results. Before you make any decision, go rent Indecent Proposal.

My advice? Go ahead and fantasize about other men. That's natural. But before you make a potentially disasterous decision, try acting out your fantasy with your husband. Lay it out for him. Who do you want him to be? Biker, mailman, mechanic, poolboy . . . What do you want him to do with/to you? Probably not your current standard. And, finally, give him a timeframe for the window of opportunity. Don't tell him when you want this fantasy fulfilled, but give him some number of days. That will add to the pleasure of your fantasy as you grow in anticipation of fulfillment. And it will give him some time to think about how he'll play the role. If he has a beard, maybe he'll shave it of as part of the role. Give him as many specifics as you can, and tell him to be creative.

This can add a new dimension to your love making, without introducing a third party and all of the associated problems.

Good luck!

[123456789]

dont do it, you'll regret it.

[bruins76]

If your husband wants you to go for it, something's wrong...either he has already done the same or your marriage is on the rocks (as an above poster mentioned).

Having fantasies are normal...we all have them, especially when you've been w/ someone for that long...things can get dull, etc. But it take's 2 to make thing's better back in the sack. Have you tried to do something different in the bedroom(other than cheat)? Perhaps you two need a romantic vacation together? I would even say couple's counseling is a good thing to do, can't hurt.

But the bottom line is...cheating is bad, it's hurtful, disrespectful, wrong, disgusting, you could get an STD, you could regret it for the rest of your life, ruine what ever you have w/ your husband...the list goes on. Being married is a commitment, not going out and screwing others to "get it out of your system"...

I really hope you don't do it and if you do, I am sure you'll regret every second of it.

Good luck in your decision

[Fluffer]

Speaking from experience...DO NOT DO IT!