College life

[MrDinan]

To a woman, is the college experience neccessary to be able to succeed after college? My girlfriend seems curious about the life of college, as she is entering her first year. She wants me to hang out with her for most of the fun times, as there will not be too many (she's in a hard school). She and I have boundaries set for ourselves, where we've both agreed to not drink without the other being there, only because excessive drinking could cause in a unneccessary break up (the obvious beer goggles :P).

My question, should we be more open to experiencing the college life, or set our relationship first and both do as we please? We both believe that "doing as we please" is the harmful path, but I am seeking the opinions of those who are older than I am, and have experienced it for themselves. I am looking at our relationship in stepping stones, as right now we're in the "so-used-to-each-other-that-i-can-fart-in-front-of-you" stage. haha I'm not looking into marriage at the moment, as I'm too young (20) and as is she (18 going on 19).

I believe we are both in agreement that our current path is the correct one, however, please give me your opinions?

[Brandye]

At that age and in college settings, you both need flexibility, not rules. May bring you together; may take you apart. C'est la vie.

I attended the "hardest," I read demanding, schools around and there was plenty of time for the good life.

[WallyLlama]

As I see the question (and I may be seeing it totally wrong), I think that you want to balance protecting the relationship with the growth opportunties college (and life after college!) presents.

I'm not sure what the "college experience" is... but I've heard about those frat parties. LOL My college experience didn't include them. Darn it. LOL Seriously, I don't know that there is any "correct" college experience. I think it is wise to consider what you want the experience to be.

Doing only as you please is not the wisest path, everything has a consequence and it is smart to judge the consequence. But at the same time, you shouldn't necessarily avoid experiences to "protect" the relationship or yourselves. In some ways you want to "test" the relationship and yourselvs to see if you can grow together.

It's starting to sound like there's no answer to your question. I use the word "balance" a lot.

If you're in agreement on the path, keep walking.

[MrDinan]

Yeah we are both in agreement and are okay with the choice. However, if there was a way to play it safe while having extra fun at the same time, we'd probably like that better. I just wanted a feel to see if it was even possible to "play it safe" while being able to not have the "rules."

Yes Wally, you are correct. We want to balance protecting the relationship with the growth that college opportunities have to offer. Thanks for your replies. I guess the only answer is, "time will tell."

[bruins76]

You guy's are way too young to settle down...if you want to be into each other and not see others that's fine but if you can do what ever you want then you risk hurting each other. I think you need to enjoy your college life, take it easy and don't take thing's too seriously. You have the rest of your life to be serious, get married and have kids...after that you can't look back and you can't get back your "free" life. I regret missing out on so many things and to be honest I would be in a different place had I not tried to "settle" which BTW, I regret 100% doing. Enjoy yourself and keep it simple.

HIH

[Doug's]

I don't know what the "college experience" is either. I found it totally sucky, random school-assigned roommates that I couldn't get along with, school officials who wouldn't let me even get on the waiting list for a private room because I wasn't 20 yet, having to keep carrying SO many hours AND keep a near-perfect grade, constant stress. Get this, not only did my roommate have NO life so we had to find other places to get it on, they also reported me to the campus police coz I liked to mix rum & coke in my room. I'm not sure why this "college experience" is so great. I'm likin married life a whole lot better.
Maybe you enjoy that kind of thing? I dunno, do whatever works for you

[ua322]

Originally Posted by bruins76

You guy's are way too young to settle down...if you want to be into each other and not see others that's fine but if you can do what ever you want then you risk hurting each other. I think you need to enjoy your college life, take it easy and don't take thing's too seriously. You have the rest of your life to be serious, get married and have kids...after that you can't look back and you can't get back your "free" life. I regret missing out on so many things and to be honest I would be in a different place had I not tried to "settle" which BTW, I regret 100% doing. Enjoy yourself and keep it simple.

HIH

Good advice.