I hate my sex life!

[Sweetness12]

i have been having sex with my b/f for about 4 months now.... and im still not used to him.......

well im shy about what im doing because im not used to doing all kinds of positions... Im ok with doggy style and even being on top sometimes, but it just isnt my thing... my boyfriend wants me to be on top almost every time and he doesnt like doing the work..well FYI, neither do I... i will admit i am lazy sometimes when it comes to sex, but i do my share.... He wants to try new things because he is WAY moe experienced than me..and i just dont know about it because im hesitant and really kind of shy.. im not shy about anything else around him, its only when it comes to sex....


can someone please help me overcome this wretched thing!? i hate being shy like this

[hands_off_the_goods]

I wouldn't worry about the shy thing. You do however need to at least try to overcome it. If you can't be comfortable in bed then what's the point of having sex? There isn't a point at all. I'm not saying go do everything in the book, I'm just saying try to be more open to new experiences. Tell your man which experiences you've liked and what ones you haven't liked. Communication is key. If you can't be comfortable having sex then you shouldn't be having sex at all. Just remember to communicate. As much as we like to think it... men can't read our minds and women can't read men's minds.

Hint for communication:
Don't only say what you dislike because it will discourage a guy and he won't want to try. If you are afraid to vocalize by saying, "I love it when you ________ (fill in the blank)" Then moan a bit louder, get a bit touchier, or really get into it. Give him some kind of hint that what he's doing is driving you insane and you want more.

[ua322]

Originally Posted by hands_off_the_goods

If you can't be comfortable having sex then you shouldn't be having sex at all.

You hit the nail on the head.

[MrKalar]

What you need to do is 50/50 on top sexing. Flip a coin every time and whoever wins gets to lay down and the other has to get up on top and sex them down hardcore style. Thats the only fair way to decide it. If you decide you aint about it, dump that fool and get some guy who is into being the sexer fulltime.

[nursefluffykins]

sex ideally shouldnt be work!...
most people (i think, just saying) find man on top, woman on top and doggy style pretty standard, ... figure out the problem here...

[WallyLlama]

and don't forget... the first time you both do something together it's a new experience for both of you... because you've never done it before! It doesn't matter whether or not he's done it with some one else, you are different!

So he's really not more experienced.

You're gaining the experience together... learning how to share things together and that might include (as has already been suggested) learning how to talk about those experiences.

[Sweetness12]

im actually kind of afraid to say what i want to him because i dont think he'll want to do it or anything.. so it might be my communication problems....

[hands_off_the_goods]

Like I said before, If you're uncomfortable putting it into words then let him know somehow what you like such as moaning a bit louder, getting more touchy, etc. If you're afraid of how he might react to what you say then as I've also said before, you really shouldn't be having sex. If you ask him to do something and he doesn't want to. Remember the next time he wants you to do something for him. That or stop the sex altogether which I'd personally reccomend because you really don't seem ready for it. don't take offence to that because many people start having sex when they think they are ready but in truth are not even close to ready. Give yourself some more time.

[ua322]

Originally Posted by Sweetness12

im actually kind of afraid to say what i want to him because i dont think he'll want to do it or anything.. so it might be my communication problems....

Seriously, if you don't feel comfortable discussing sex with him, then you're not ready to have sex with him.

[Fluffer]

Well now, you could be talking strap-ons and wax on the nipples... In that case, I can see your hesitance to say anything! But if you're just talking about a different position, then you should tell him! Or you could leave him a sexy voicemail saying what you'd like to do with him that night. That way you don't actually have to tell him face to face, if you're embarrassed about it. I think if you've already overcome the embarrassment of actually having sex with him--being naked and all--what else is there to be shy about?